Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Neighborhood Liquor Store Guy
Just when you think your day can't get any worse; your checking account is over-withdrawn by $200, the unpaid bills are piling up and you keep getting calls from a mysterious 1-800 #, the cute guy who works at your neighborhood liquor store asks you out! Nothing like a few compliments and a little flirtation to improve an otherwise shitty day.
However, after you give said guy your phone #, you realize by the end of the day he has texted you a gazillion times and wants you to meet his roommate. He proceeds to tell you that 'you're not like other girls' and feels like he 'could talk to you for hours'. This leaves you asking yourself a familiar question, WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL MEN?
You then receive a call from Canadian Guy who you haven't seen in over six months and think...could there be a Canadian Guy Part Deux?
However, after you give said guy your phone #, you realize by the end of the day he has texted you a gazillion times and wants you to meet his roommate. He proceeds to tell you that 'you're not like other girls' and feels like he 'could talk to you for hours'. This leaves you asking yourself a familiar question, WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL MEN?
You then receive a call from Canadian Guy who you haven't seen in over six months and think...could there be a Canadian Guy Part Deux?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tales from the City Bus
I've recently decided to take a little hiatus from online dating. Mostly because I just don't want to go on any more bad dates! However, this hiatus is coming to an end tomorrow as I have my first online date in over a month. Wuhu! And yes, I will be venturing into the suburbs for said date. Hopefully, I will return safely and un-jaded.
During my brief hiatus from the online dating world I have decided to stop driving. My car, Daisy, has been ill for quite sometime and I just don't have the funds to obtain the necessary treatment for her. So, I have been forced to embrace public transportation. Everyday I discover new and unusual details about the city bus. First of all, there is a schedule printed at almost all of the stops, but the bus drivers seem to have complete and utter disregard for this schedule. I have been known to wait over 30 minutes for a bus while I watch 3 pass going in the opposite direction. Why does this happen? Other days, I barely have enough time to get my $1.45 (I learned the fair was recently raised from $1.35) ready before one appears in front of me. One day I was sitting on the bench inside the little plastic alcove, when the bus blew right by me! Now I stand as close to the sign as possible so I won't be overlooked by near sighted drivers.
The strangest experience I have had thus far on the bus was when a woman fell out of her wheelchair! I was on my way to Dupont Circle one morning and this particular bus driver took a mean turn onto Mass. Ave. I was sitting behind a woman in a wheelchair listening to my newly used ipod, when all of a sudden the woman and her chair keel over into the aisle. Her head narrowly misses the metal area under the seat and instead hits an elderly lady's leg. It was one of those occurrences that you sort of see coming, but happen too fast for you to stop! Myself, another woman and a guy in a military uniform immediately jump up and pull the woman from the floor and gently place her back into the wheelchair. By this time the driver had stopped the bus to make sure everyone was okay.
This occurrence made me question whether buses have proper accommodations for handicapped people. I mean, this woman's wheelchair went down like a glass of water being knocked off a table. It seems like her wheelchair should have been fastened to something in the bus to prevent something this from happening. However, if our bus driver hadn't taken the turn like a maniac this whole thing probably would have never happened.
As it turned out, everyone was okay, but I decided to get off at the next stop anyway. That was enough excitement for me. When I pulled the 'stop request rope' the woman sitting next to me said that was a smart idea.
While I walked to the Metro another thought occurred to me. Perhaps the city bus has been an untapped source for meeting men. Hmm...
During my brief hiatus from the online dating world I have decided to stop driving. My car, Daisy, has been ill for quite sometime and I just don't have the funds to obtain the necessary treatment for her. So, I have been forced to embrace public transportation. Everyday I discover new and unusual details about the city bus. First of all, there is a schedule printed at almost all of the stops, but the bus drivers seem to have complete and utter disregard for this schedule. I have been known to wait over 30 minutes for a bus while I watch 3 pass going in the opposite direction. Why does this happen? Other days, I barely have enough time to get my $1.45 (I learned the fair was recently raised from $1.35) ready before one appears in front of me. One day I was sitting on the bench inside the little plastic alcove, when the bus blew right by me! Now I stand as close to the sign as possible so I won't be overlooked by near sighted drivers.
The strangest experience I have had thus far on the bus was when a woman fell out of her wheelchair! I was on my way to Dupont Circle one morning and this particular bus driver took a mean turn onto Mass. Ave. I was sitting behind a woman in a wheelchair listening to my newly used ipod, when all of a sudden the woman and her chair keel over into the aisle. Her head narrowly misses the metal area under the seat and instead hits an elderly lady's leg. It was one of those occurrences that you sort of see coming, but happen too fast for you to stop! Myself, another woman and a guy in a military uniform immediately jump up and pull the woman from the floor and gently place her back into the wheelchair. By this time the driver had stopped the bus to make sure everyone was okay.
This occurrence made me question whether buses have proper accommodations for handicapped people. I mean, this woman's wheelchair went down like a glass of water being knocked off a table. It seems like her wheelchair should have been fastened to something in the bus to prevent something this from happening. However, if our bus driver hadn't taken the turn like a maniac this whole thing probably would have never happened.
As it turned out, everyone was okay, but I decided to get off at the next stop anyway. That was enough excitement for me. When I pulled the 'stop request rope' the woman sitting next to me said that was a smart idea.
While I walked to the Metro another thought occurred to me. Perhaps the city bus has been an untapped source for meeting men. Hmm...
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Boy Band Guy
Last fall I went out on a couple of dates with this guy who happened to be a guitar player in a band. The band was made up of 4 guys total and 0 girls. Since this is literally a band of boys I will refer to him as N'Sync. I remember N'Sync's profile picture was a close-up of him playing guitar on stage. Musicians are sort of like bartenders...take an average looking guy and place him behind a bar, add a few tatoos here and there and presto...this average guy just got 10 times hotter! This was precisely the way I felt toward N'Sync. I can't remember if he emailed me first or vice versa. Regardless, our first date was at a bar near Metro Center where we met for 'happy hour' drinks. Of course 'happy hour' stretched out for many, many hours.
N'Sync and I seemed to hit it off immediately! He was cuter than his profile picture and had slightly curly/shaggy hair that I love on men. He had a very slight build and once again was a little shorter than me (I briefly wondered if I was thin enough to actually fit into his pants). Luckily, I wear flats on all first dates as I am used to this type of occurrence. I learned N'Sync was from a predominantly Catholic family (as was I) and had a major sweet tooth (as do I). He had a sister and brother and seemed to be close to them, which I admire. I always think it's a good sign when a guy is close to his family (especially his mother). Having grown up as an only child, I find adult sibling relationships to be extremely fascinating.
During the course of the evening, N'Sync and I seemed to laugh as much as we talked. This is going smashingly, I thought! The first time I looked at my watch it was past 9:00 and we met at 6. Wow..rarely does time pass that quickly on a first semi blind date.
I also learned N'Sync worked at the Department of Treasury during the day (when he wasn't being a rock star...which he said in jest as he seemed to be a down-to-earth type of guy). His office window is actually pictured on the $10 bill...or maybe it's the $20. Anyway, his office window is literally on money and that's pretty damn cool. He did probability and statistical analysis for the government. Hmm...probability and statistics...2 math courses I opted not to take in college. The most interesting thing about his job was the fact former gymnast Kerri Strugg (sp?) worked in his building!! You remember her...during the whatever-year summer Olympics she did a perfect vault only to break her ankle upon landing. That image of her crying in pain, yet smiling at the fact she just scored a perfect 10 has been immortalized in pictures ever since. Anyway, N'Sync said he saw her every single morning on the Metro and said 'hi' every single morning, yet she never so much as smiled at him.
"What a bitch" I said after what was probably my 5th or 6th glass of wine.
He did mention that while he and his co-workers had yet to gather proof on whether she actually spoke in public they did witness her running down the hall one day.
"I was talking to a co-worker and all of a sudden we heard this rapid, clanking sound. We looked up and low and behold Kerri Strugg was bookin it down the hallway in high heels and a business suit. We braced ourselves for some kind of flip or airborne somersault, but it was not to be."
"That would have been so cool if she just broke into a forward flips in rapid succession," I said. "I bet she ran fast as Hell."
"I'm pretty sure we felt a strong breeze as she passed," N'Sync responded.
After he paid the bill, N'Sync offered to drive me home. As we waited for the parking garage attendant to get his car, we made out in the street. I always feel a little awkward with PDA on a first date, but the large amount of alcohol I had just imbibed made that transition a little more smooth.
After he dropped me off (after getting slightly lost on the way to my apartment...did I mention I'm directionally challenged?), N'Sync sent me a text expressing how much fun he had on our date and that he would like to go out again. I agreed and we planned date #2 for the following Sunday evening.
Sunday evening we met at an Irish bar in Dupont Circle. I could tell immediately the chemistry from date #1 had been taken down a few notches. This date was much more mellow with less laughing and more pauses in conversation.
Uh oh. This was an all too familiar feeling. We had jumped the shark already.
As N'Sync drove me home he played some of his band's music and I generally liked what I heard. It is hard to describe the style..sort of a mix between alternative rock and country. When he pulled up to my apartment we chatted about possibly going out the upcoming Friday night. We didn't make definite plans right then, but it was understood that he would be in touch later in the week to firm things up.
Once back at my apartment, N'Sync sent me a text apologizing for seeming 'tired', but had a good time on the date. Hmmm...
When I hadn't heard from N'Sync by Wednesday of that week, I knew there would be no 3rd date. While it's completely rude to blow someone off, I kind of understood. Online dating is sort of an alternate universe. Since before the first date you and the other person are likely to be complete strangers. I wasn't too broken up about it as I figured things probably wouldn't have escalated any farther. It still is a little shitty to just not follow up at all when you had tentative plans with someone. Although I can't say much as I've done the same thing more than once. When you are friends with someone and then begin dating, it would be looked down upon to just blow someone off completely, but if it's an internet date and you've only gone out twice it can be more understanding. Or can it?
Score 3 points
N'Sync and I seemed to hit it off immediately! He was cuter than his profile picture and had slightly curly/shaggy hair that I love on men. He had a very slight build and once again was a little shorter than me (I briefly wondered if I was thin enough to actually fit into his pants). Luckily, I wear flats on all first dates as I am used to this type of occurrence. I learned N'Sync was from a predominantly Catholic family (as was I) and had a major sweet tooth (as do I). He had a sister and brother and seemed to be close to them, which I admire. I always think it's a good sign when a guy is close to his family (especially his mother). Having grown up as an only child, I find adult sibling relationships to be extremely fascinating.
During the course of the evening, N'Sync and I seemed to laugh as much as we talked. This is going smashingly, I thought! The first time I looked at my watch it was past 9:00 and we met at 6. Wow..rarely does time pass that quickly on a first semi blind date.
I also learned N'Sync worked at the Department of Treasury during the day (when he wasn't being a rock star...which he said in jest as he seemed to be a down-to-earth type of guy). His office window is actually pictured on the $10 bill...or maybe it's the $20. Anyway, his office window is literally on money and that's pretty damn cool. He did probability and statistical analysis for the government. Hmm...probability and statistics...2 math courses I opted not to take in college. The most interesting thing about his job was the fact former gymnast Kerri Strugg (sp?) worked in his building!! You remember her...during the whatever-year summer Olympics she did a perfect vault only to break her ankle upon landing. That image of her crying in pain, yet smiling at the fact she just scored a perfect 10 has been immortalized in pictures ever since. Anyway, N'Sync said he saw her every single morning on the Metro and said 'hi' every single morning, yet she never so much as smiled at him.
"What a bitch" I said after what was probably my 5th or 6th glass of wine.
He did mention that while he and his co-workers had yet to gather proof on whether she actually spoke in public they did witness her running down the hall one day.
"I was talking to a co-worker and all of a sudden we heard this rapid, clanking sound. We looked up and low and behold Kerri Strugg was bookin it down the hallway in high heels and a business suit. We braced ourselves for some kind of flip or airborne somersault, but it was not to be."
"That would have been so cool if she just broke into a forward flips in rapid succession," I said. "I bet she ran fast as Hell."
"I'm pretty sure we felt a strong breeze as she passed," N'Sync responded.
After he paid the bill, N'Sync offered to drive me home. As we waited for the parking garage attendant to get his car, we made out in the street. I always feel a little awkward with PDA on a first date, but the large amount of alcohol I had just imbibed made that transition a little more smooth.
After he dropped me off (after getting slightly lost on the way to my apartment...did I mention I'm directionally challenged?), N'Sync sent me a text expressing how much fun he had on our date and that he would like to go out again. I agreed and we planned date #2 for the following Sunday evening.
Sunday evening we met at an Irish bar in Dupont Circle. I could tell immediately the chemistry from date #1 had been taken down a few notches. This date was much more mellow with less laughing and more pauses in conversation.
Uh oh. This was an all too familiar feeling. We had jumped the shark already.
As N'Sync drove me home he played some of his band's music and I generally liked what I heard. It is hard to describe the style..sort of a mix between alternative rock and country. When he pulled up to my apartment we chatted about possibly going out the upcoming Friday night. We didn't make definite plans right then, but it was understood that he would be in touch later in the week to firm things up.
Once back at my apartment, N'Sync sent me a text apologizing for seeming 'tired', but had a good time on the date. Hmmm...
When I hadn't heard from N'Sync by Wednesday of that week, I knew there would be no 3rd date. While it's completely rude to blow someone off, I kind of understood. Online dating is sort of an alternate universe. Since before the first date you and the other person are likely to be complete strangers. I wasn't too broken up about it as I figured things probably wouldn't have escalated any farther. It still is a little shitty to just not follow up at all when you had tentative plans with someone. Although I can't say much as I've done the same thing more than once. When you are friends with someone and then begin dating, it would be looked down upon to just blow someone off completely, but if it's an internet date and you've only gone out twice it can be more understanding. Or can it?
Score 3 points
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Space Invader Guy
Earlier this year I had the misfortune to go out with a space-challenged guy (Sid) who seemed to view himself as if he lived in an alternate universe. Sid and I shared a few emails back and forth before deciding to meet for drinks one chilly Sunday evening. Unfortunately, Sid lived in Virginia (I have an inherent dislike of the suburbs). Fortunately he owned a car and seemed more than willing to pick me up and go to a place in the city. Sid was born in India and his one profile picture had him looking very youthful with a thick head of hair. It also specified that he was 6'0". If this were true than someone forgot to tell me that I won the lottery.
As soon as Sid got out of his car I realized a vast error had been made. Sid looked NOTHING like his profile picture. And when I write 'nothing', I mean I started wondering if I had mixed Sid up with some other Indian guy who I might have been communicating with. But, there wasn't another Indian guy, it was only Sid. And Sid appeared to be about 10 years older than his profile picture with about a quarter of the amount of hair. Don't even get me started on the height difference. Not only was Sid shorter than his published 6'0", he was a good 2" shorter than me (and I'm 5"9'....I promise). In other words, Sid was an imposter!
Greeaat. This was going to be a fun night. I got into Sid's car and tried to hide my shock. He drove up the street to a wine bar that I liked. When we parked I realized that the wine bar no longer existed and now it was some kind of tavern. What is happening in the universe?!
Sid and I engaged in mild banter during the brief car ride. As soon as we parked he gave me a small box of chocolate covered cherries from Godiva that he had picked up at the mall while shopping for his niece's birthday gift. I graciously thanked him and filed the box away in the bottom of my purse. Why didn't the cute guys ever bring presents? Maybe because they know they don't have to.
We found two spots at the bar and I immediately recognized the bartender from the wine bar that apparently no longer existed. He recognized me as well. We started chatting and told me they had changed venues during the summer and was surprised I hadn't been in since then. Bartender guy was cute and I remembered having had a bit of a crush on him. Knowing it is completely rude to flirt with a guy while on a date with another guy, I proceeded to flirt away! Time to bring out the big guns. Sid seemed slightly annoyed by this.
After we ordered 2 glasses of wine I noticed Sid's chair was awfully close to mine. And then...wait, why was his arm casually resting on the back of my chair? Uh oh. More social cues were definitely needed. I inched as far away from Sid's chair as I possibly could without risking falling out of my own chair.
Luckily, the Olympics were on the bar television and I pretended to be a huge hockey fan. Keep the conversation to sports, I thought. This was a little tricky as I know nothing about sports. But, I do know hockey is huge in Canada so I lead the conversation with that. I happily noticed Sid soon moved his arm and my chair was my own again.
Sid soon changed the topic from sports to more personal things. Crap. He turned his entire body to face me when he talked while I kept my hands in my lap and tried to stare straight ahead as much as possible. Sid talked about how all his friends are married and how he is looking to settle down and start the next 'chapter' of his life.
"Not me. Nooo. I have so much going on right now. Did I mention that I currently have 3 part-time jobs? Yeah, not much free time for me. No siree."
We managed to make it through another round of drinks, but as soon as Sid mentioned ordering food, I said I had already eaten and should probably go soon.
"I have an early day tomorrow. At. One. Of the jobs," I said.
The entire evening I spent marveling at the fact Sid could advertise himself so falsely. I don't mean to come across harshly, but when you post a profile picture that looks like a completely different person and adjust your height by 4" it is not okay! It only takes 1 date to call someone's bluff. Don't assume a perspective date is going to be an idiot.
When Sid dropped me off in front of my apartment he leaned over and tried to kiss me. But I was too fast for him! As I flung the car door open he literally looked pissed that I wouldn't kiss him. Not hurt, just angry. Don't think just because you paid for my drinks my lips are going anywhere near yours. If only a 'liar, liar, pants on fire' statement actually worked in adult situations.
Now I can understand why Nancy killed Sid in the hotel bathroom. Or was it the other way around? Hmm...must add the movie to my Netflix Q.
Score: -6 points
As soon as Sid got out of his car I realized a vast error had been made. Sid looked NOTHING like his profile picture. And when I write 'nothing', I mean I started wondering if I had mixed Sid up with some other Indian guy who I might have been communicating with. But, there wasn't another Indian guy, it was only Sid. And Sid appeared to be about 10 years older than his profile picture with about a quarter of the amount of hair. Don't even get me started on the height difference. Not only was Sid shorter than his published 6'0", he was a good 2" shorter than me (and I'm 5"9'....I promise). In other words, Sid was an imposter!
Greeaat. This was going to be a fun night. I got into Sid's car and tried to hide my shock. He drove up the street to a wine bar that I liked. When we parked I realized that the wine bar no longer existed and now it was some kind of tavern. What is happening in the universe?!
Sid and I engaged in mild banter during the brief car ride. As soon as we parked he gave me a small box of chocolate covered cherries from Godiva that he had picked up at the mall while shopping for his niece's birthday gift. I graciously thanked him and filed the box away in the bottom of my purse. Why didn't the cute guys ever bring presents? Maybe because they know they don't have to.
We found two spots at the bar and I immediately recognized the bartender from the wine bar that apparently no longer existed. He recognized me as well. We started chatting and told me they had changed venues during the summer and was surprised I hadn't been in since then. Bartender guy was cute and I remembered having had a bit of a crush on him. Knowing it is completely rude to flirt with a guy while on a date with another guy, I proceeded to flirt away! Time to bring out the big guns. Sid seemed slightly annoyed by this.
After we ordered 2 glasses of wine I noticed Sid's chair was awfully close to mine. And then...wait, why was his arm casually resting on the back of my chair? Uh oh. More social cues were definitely needed. I inched as far away from Sid's chair as I possibly could without risking falling out of my own chair.
Luckily, the Olympics were on the bar television and I pretended to be a huge hockey fan. Keep the conversation to sports, I thought. This was a little tricky as I know nothing about sports. But, I do know hockey is huge in Canada so I lead the conversation with that. I happily noticed Sid soon moved his arm and my chair was my own again.
Sid soon changed the topic from sports to more personal things. Crap. He turned his entire body to face me when he talked while I kept my hands in my lap and tried to stare straight ahead as much as possible. Sid talked about how all his friends are married and how he is looking to settle down and start the next 'chapter' of his life.
"Not me. Nooo. I have so much going on right now. Did I mention that I currently have 3 part-time jobs? Yeah, not much free time for me. No siree."
We managed to make it through another round of drinks, but as soon as Sid mentioned ordering food, I said I had already eaten and should probably go soon.
"I have an early day tomorrow. At. One. Of the jobs," I said.
The entire evening I spent marveling at the fact Sid could advertise himself so falsely. I don't mean to come across harshly, but when you post a profile picture that looks like a completely different person and adjust your height by 4" it is not okay! It only takes 1 date to call someone's bluff. Don't assume a perspective date is going to be an idiot.
When Sid dropped me off in front of my apartment he leaned over and tried to kiss me. But I was too fast for him! As I flung the car door open he literally looked pissed that I wouldn't kiss him. Not hurt, just angry. Don't think just because you paid for my drinks my lips are going anywhere near yours. If only a 'liar, liar, pants on fire' statement actually worked in adult situations.
Now I can understand why Nancy killed Sid in the hotel bathroom. Or was it the other way around? Hmm...must add the movie to my Netflix Q.
Score: -6 points
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Guy Who Jumped the Shark
A few months ago I went out on 3 dates with a guy I'll call Prick (just for kicks). Prick had a very important job working at a very important computer software company. He was in the midst of developing a giant computer program that would change the way people use computer software (or this is the way I translated his technical lingo).
Prick and I met for the first time at a beer joint in Dupont Circle one weeknight after work. I was overjoyed to see that Prick was indeed taller than me and pretty cute as well. Score! He gave me a quick hug and seemed warm and friendly.
We sat at a table near a window and immediately ordered 2 beers (I went with my trusty favorite, Amstel Light...typical girlie beer). After we finished with the 'what do you do' segment of the conversation we somehow stumbled into a long talk about religion and philosophy. I'm not sure how that happened, but Prick started quoting famous religious texts left and right. I was a little thrown by this as I've always considered myself to be more spiritual than religious. Prick assured me he wasn't religious, but found the topic to be somewhat fascinating. I mumbled some tidbits about having grown up Catholic and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere.
After a quick discussion about Prick's fondness of cycling and deep admiration of Lance Armstrong, we split the tab and left. Our first date felt like a whirlwind of strange conversation and I didn't really know what to think of Prick. When we got outside, he gave me a hug and said he would call me. I didn't hold out much hope for that to happen though.
A week went by and suddenly I get a call from Prick asking me out to dinner. I agreed, hoping we would get to know each other a little more on the 2nd date. I was right. Prick seemed almost like a different person. He was much more animated and was cracking jokes left and right. Our 2nd date consisted of dinner and a jazz show. Even though I'm not a big fan of jazz, I honestly had a great time.
When Prick asked me out again, I was fairly excited. This time he came over to my neighborhood and we went to dinner at a sushi restaurant on my block. Prick came straight from work and seemed tired and in a bit of a bad mood. What happened to the fun, animated guy from date #2? Maybe he was tired from a long day of work or just moody. Our conversation over maki rolls didn't go so well. Prick began asking me a barrage of questions regarding my stance on various political issues. I felt like I was being interrogated. To say I'm not a political person is a vast understatement, so I really didn't appreciate Prick's line of questioning. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that my answers were not up to par.
When the check came and Prick said, "Do you wanna split it," I knew things were not going well.
I wasn't sure what to do at this point, but Prick suggested we walk down the street and grab a drink (by drink he meant hot tea). Conversation continued to go down hill. We started talking about movies (a topic I love) and Prick mentioned he enjoys documentaries about wars. Wait, what? Documentaries about wars. I realize wars play a valuable role in our nation's history, but come on! I would rather watch paint dry. As soon as he said this my face fell and I knew it was over.
"I enjoy documentaries as well," I responded. "As long as they are about famous artists, writers or actors. Or people related to famous artist, writers or actors."
Prick walked me home and gave me a quick hug and kiss. No chemistry. He said he would be in touch, but again, I wasn't going to hold my breath.
Low and behold the next morning I receive an email from Prick. He wrote that 'while I had a lot of fun spending time with you, I'm not looking for a relationship'. He went on to write how much he hated sending these types of emails, but he didn't want to string me along. So, he was breaking up with me after 3 dates? Um...
I responded with a little email of my own. "Thanks for being honest. I feel exactly the same way". Short, sweet and to the point.
Score: 2 points
Prick and I met for the first time at a beer joint in Dupont Circle one weeknight after work. I was overjoyed to see that Prick was indeed taller than me and pretty cute as well. Score! He gave me a quick hug and seemed warm and friendly.
We sat at a table near a window and immediately ordered 2 beers (I went with my trusty favorite, Amstel Light...typical girlie beer). After we finished with the 'what do you do' segment of the conversation we somehow stumbled into a long talk about religion and philosophy. I'm not sure how that happened, but Prick started quoting famous religious texts left and right. I was a little thrown by this as I've always considered myself to be more spiritual than religious. Prick assured me he wasn't religious, but found the topic to be somewhat fascinating. I mumbled some tidbits about having grown up Catholic and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere.
After a quick discussion about Prick's fondness of cycling and deep admiration of Lance Armstrong, we split the tab and left. Our first date felt like a whirlwind of strange conversation and I didn't really know what to think of Prick. When we got outside, he gave me a hug and said he would call me. I didn't hold out much hope for that to happen though.
A week went by and suddenly I get a call from Prick asking me out to dinner. I agreed, hoping we would get to know each other a little more on the 2nd date. I was right. Prick seemed almost like a different person. He was much more animated and was cracking jokes left and right. Our 2nd date consisted of dinner and a jazz show. Even though I'm not a big fan of jazz, I honestly had a great time.
When Prick asked me out again, I was fairly excited. This time he came over to my neighborhood and we went to dinner at a sushi restaurant on my block. Prick came straight from work and seemed tired and in a bit of a bad mood. What happened to the fun, animated guy from date #2? Maybe he was tired from a long day of work or just moody. Our conversation over maki rolls didn't go so well. Prick began asking me a barrage of questions regarding my stance on various political issues. I felt like I was being interrogated. To say I'm not a political person is a vast understatement, so I really didn't appreciate Prick's line of questioning. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that my answers were not up to par.
When the check came and Prick said, "Do you wanna split it," I knew things were not going well.
I wasn't sure what to do at this point, but Prick suggested we walk down the street and grab a drink (by drink he meant hot tea). Conversation continued to go down hill. We started talking about movies (a topic I love) and Prick mentioned he enjoys documentaries about wars. Wait, what? Documentaries about wars. I realize wars play a valuable role in our nation's history, but come on! I would rather watch paint dry. As soon as he said this my face fell and I knew it was over.
"I enjoy documentaries as well," I responded. "As long as they are about famous artists, writers or actors. Or people related to famous artist, writers or actors."
Prick walked me home and gave me a quick hug and kiss. No chemistry. He said he would be in touch, but again, I wasn't going to hold my breath.
Low and behold the next morning I receive an email from Prick. He wrote that 'while I had a lot of fun spending time with you, I'm not looking for a relationship'. He went on to write how much he hated sending these types of emails, but he didn't want to string me along. So, he was breaking up with me after 3 dates? Um...
I responded with a little email of my own. "Thanks for being honest. I feel exactly the same way". Short, sweet and to the point.
Score: 2 points
Sunday, April 4, 2010
'Sexiest User'...Moi?
Yesterday I was checking my mail on one of the dating sites I use and saw something unexpected. As soon as I logged in to the website my very own profile picture suddenly appeared with something typed below it. Sexiest User. Wait, What?
Naturally this took me by surprise. Many questions popped into my head. Who assigns these superlatives...the Plenty of Fish robot? Does this only come up on MY computer or does everyone automatically see my newly branded profile picture once they log in? How the Hell am I perpetually single if I'm supposedly the 'sexiest user'? Maybe this is a sign I've been on the dating site too long.
Regardless, my new project is to try and figure out how flaunt my supposed sexiness. Game on!
I know that when I think of sexy people my mind automatically goes to a lovely young man by the name of James Franco (ie my celebrity crush #2). So, I'm going to post a picture of James next to today's post. Love you James!
P.S. Happy Easter and Happy Passover!
Naturally this took me by surprise. Many questions popped into my head. Who assigns these superlatives...the Plenty of Fish robot? Does this only come up on MY computer or does everyone automatically see my newly branded profile picture once they log in? How the Hell am I perpetually single if I'm supposedly the 'sexiest user'? Maybe this is a sign I've been on the dating site too long.
Regardless, my new project is to try and figure out how flaunt my supposed sexiness. Game on!
I know that when I think of sexy people my mind automatically goes to a lovely young man by the name of James Franco (ie my celebrity crush #2). So, I'm going to post a picture of James next to today's post. Love you James!
P.S. Happy Easter and Happy Passover!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Canadian Guy
Last fall I went out on a few dates with a guy who had recently moved to D.C. from our northern pal, Canada (I'll call him Granola). Granola and I met for lunch one sunny afternoon in October. We discussed art and literature over salads in Dupont Circle and then walked over to the Phillips Collection (one of my all time favorite museums). Granola and I hit it off right away and seemed to have very similar interests. Not only was Granola well read, he enjoyed going to museums and art galleries as much as I did. And he didn't seem to mind the fact that after we left the museum I couldn't remember what street I had parked on.
I noticed Granola seemed to be a fairly private person, which I can respect. I tend to be on the private side as well (which sort of goes against the fact that I write a blog about my dating life). I learned Granola was a teacher and rented a house in northeast. He decided to join a dating site upon moving here to try and meet people. I asked if he had a roommate and he said that he did, but didn't offer any further details about his living situation. Hmm...a little fishy.
We proceeded to go out 2 more times. I was really enjoying Granola's company, but there was something that bothered me about him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We had great conversations, he was very easygoing and cute (even if he was a tad shorter than me..but at this point I have ALMOST come to expect that from internet dates), but by the 3rd date I still felt a little disconnected from him.
On this particular date, Granola and I went to dinner at a Thai restaurant and then for a drink at a bar across the street that had recently opened. Granola told me all about his days of being a cross country traveler and opened up about his family. With each beer, intimate details of his life started pouring out of his mouth. And then came the kicker.
"So, I actually moved here to be with my girlfriend, but as soon as I moved in we broke up."
I KNEW something was up!
"Oh, so SHE'S your roommate." I said, starting to put the missing pieces together.
Granola then started rambling on about how they had been dating on and off for years, but had never lived in the same place and he decided to move to D.C. to see if they could make it work, blah, blah, blah. But now he realized it was over and he wanted to find a new place to live, blah, blah, blah.
At this point he told me how he really liked me and was waiting for the right time to tell me this.
"Uh huh, well, this IS good information to know," I muttered in between sips of wine. Now I was over it. The last thing I needed or wanted was to deal with ex-girlfriend drama.
He sent me a text later that evening about how he would like to see me again, but nothing ever materialized. As soon as he mentioned the details about his ex-girlfriend and their history I lost interest. I mean, who wants to date someone who still has a lingering situation with their ex?
A few weeks later I was working a weekend brunch shift (I hostess part-time at a restaurant downtown) and low and behold who walks in? Granola and the 'ex'. I was so caught off guard I almost dropped the huge stack of menus I was holding. He made a quick introduction (I did happily notice she was a tad mousy looking). We happened to be really busy at the time and didn't have any available tables. They ended up going somewhere else and I was left wondering if he had remembered that I worked at that particular restaurant and stopped by on purpose or if it was just a fluke. Regardless, I was on to the next non-Canadian guy!
Score: 1 point
I noticed Granola seemed to be a fairly private person, which I can respect. I tend to be on the private side as well (which sort of goes against the fact that I write a blog about my dating life). I learned Granola was a teacher and rented a house in northeast. He decided to join a dating site upon moving here to try and meet people. I asked if he had a roommate and he said that he did, but didn't offer any further details about his living situation. Hmm...a little fishy.
We proceeded to go out 2 more times. I was really enjoying Granola's company, but there was something that bothered me about him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We had great conversations, he was very easygoing and cute (even if he was a tad shorter than me..but at this point I have ALMOST come to expect that from internet dates), but by the 3rd date I still felt a little disconnected from him.
On this particular date, Granola and I went to dinner at a Thai restaurant and then for a drink at a bar across the street that had recently opened. Granola told me all about his days of being a cross country traveler and opened up about his family. With each beer, intimate details of his life started pouring out of his mouth. And then came the kicker.
"So, I actually moved here to be with my girlfriend, but as soon as I moved in we broke up."
I KNEW something was up!
"Oh, so SHE'S your roommate." I said, starting to put the missing pieces together.
Granola then started rambling on about how they had been dating on and off for years, but had never lived in the same place and he decided to move to D.C. to see if they could make it work, blah, blah, blah. But now he realized it was over and he wanted to find a new place to live, blah, blah, blah.
At this point he told me how he really liked me and was waiting for the right time to tell me this.
"Uh huh, well, this IS good information to know," I muttered in between sips of wine. Now I was over it. The last thing I needed or wanted was to deal with ex-girlfriend drama.
He sent me a text later that evening about how he would like to see me again, but nothing ever materialized. As soon as he mentioned the details about his ex-girlfriend and their history I lost interest. I mean, who wants to date someone who still has a lingering situation with their ex?
A few weeks later I was working a weekend brunch shift (I hostess part-time at a restaurant downtown) and low and behold who walks in? Granola and the 'ex'. I was so caught off guard I almost dropped the huge stack of menus I was holding. He made a quick introduction (I did happily notice she was a tad mousy looking). We happened to be really busy at the time and didn't have any available tables. They ended up going somewhere else and I was left wondering if he had remembered that I worked at that particular restaurant and stopped by on purpose or if it was just a fluke. Regardless, I was on to the next non-Canadian guy!
Score: 1 point
Monday, March 29, 2010
I Love NYC!
I am now another year older (and still single) but that's okay because I had a fabulous weekend in NYC celebrating my birthday! Every time I go to New York City, I can't help but notice how damn fashionable people are there. That and the large volume of handsome men who roam the streets at any given hour. Good looking and well dressed, such a winning combination! Plus, these mystery men are probably guaranteed to have solid jobs as it takes a good deal of money to live in NYC and be fashion forward.
My friend and I went out with a bang on Friday night. Our first stop was a bar in the Village. I felt as though every time I looked up from my Stoli-O and soda another hot male had entered the building. Of course, most of them were talking to equally attractive females. Competition was stiff.
At some point in the evening (after I lost count of the number of cocktails I had consumed, having spilled at least 1) I noticed a small group of very young looking guys dressed in ties and blazers.
"These guys are practically zygotes," I whispered to my friend.
Fresh meat is hard to resist. I turned around and started talking to the group collectively. I found out they were all recent graduates of the University of Virginia, my alma mater. This was enough of an 'in' for me to forge a conversation. I have no idea what we talked about, but I seemed to hit it off with one in particular, who I'll call Prep. Prep did not look a day over 16 and I'm pretty sure I pinched his cheeks more than once.
A little while later my friend and I headed to a bar a few blocks away to meet up with her sister and some of her friends. I was surprised when Prep ditched his friends and came with us. Things start to get a little blurry at the second bar. I do remember a dance floor and 80's music. And once I heard Michael Jackson's voice boom from the speakers, I was a goner. Off to the dance floor I went and totally forgot about Prep. My friend told me he left shortly thereafter. He texted me about going to brunch the next day and apparently I replied 'yes!' (this was around 1:00AM, we didn't leave the bar until 4).
Alas, I didn't make it to brunch the next day. Actually, I didn't make it very far from the hotel bed. Apparently, my 32 year old body does not take kindly to large quantities of vodka.
So, what did I learn on my weekend adventure?
1. I love NYC, but would probably have to live in an apartment with 10 other people and have 4 jobs in order to enjoy the nightlife and look good while doing it.
2. It was flattering a guy almost 10 years younger than me thought I was cute.
3. I can't drink like I did when I was in my 20's!
My friend and I went out with a bang on Friday night. Our first stop was a bar in the Village. I felt as though every time I looked up from my Stoli-O and soda another hot male had entered the building. Of course, most of them were talking to equally attractive females. Competition was stiff.
At some point in the evening (after I lost count of the number of cocktails I had consumed, having spilled at least 1) I noticed a small group of very young looking guys dressed in ties and blazers.
"These guys are practically zygotes," I whispered to my friend.
Fresh meat is hard to resist. I turned around and started talking to the group collectively. I found out they were all recent graduates of the University of Virginia, my alma mater. This was enough of an 'in' for me to forge a conversation. I have no idea what we talked about, but I seemed to hit it off with one in particular, who I'll call Prep. Prep did not look a day over 16 and I'm pretty sure I pinched his cheeks more than once.
A little while later my friend and I headed to a bar a few blocks away to meet up with her sister and some of her friends. I was surprised when Prep ditched his friends and came with us. Things start to get a little blurry at the second bar. I do remember a dance floor and 80's music. And once I heard Michael Jackson's voice boom from the speakers, I was a goner. Off to the dance floor I went and totally forgot about Prep. My friend told me he left shortly thereafter. He texted me about going to brunch the next day and apparently I replied 'yes!' (this was around 1:00AM, we didn't leave the bar until 4).
Alas, I didn't make it to brunch the next day. Actually, I didn't make it very far from the hotel bed. Apparently, my 32 year old body does not take kindly to large quantities of vodka.
So, what did I learn on my weekend adventure?
1. I love NYC, but would probably have to live in an apartment with 10 other people and have 4 jobs in order to enjoy the nightlife and look good while doing it.
2. It was flattering a guy almost 10 years younger than me thought I was cute.
3. I can't drink like I did when I was in my 20's!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Pre-Screening Phone Calls Part 2
I was talking to my dad on the phone the other night and the new Healthcare Reform Act came up in conversation. I couldn't help but rehash the conversation I had with Blonde last week. My parents know all about my online dating expeditions and think it's 'neat' that I started a blog detailing them.
I told my dad how Blonde compared having health insurance to owning a car and that he didn't think the $127 I pay per month for health coverage was a significant amount of money. I also told him that Blonde had texted me the day after our phone conversation asking if I would like to be a stay at home mom and not work at all. I happen to have gotten this text while driving to work and started laughing so hard, I almost rear ended the car in front of me. If I had, I suppose my $127 a month health care plan would have come in handy.
At this my dad paused briefly and then said, "Well, maybe you should give Blonde a chance before you completely discount him. Why don't you meet him in person and see how it goes."
Oh no. I should have seen this one coming. I could just see the wires in my dad's brain connecting these tidbits of information.
Just as I was about to stop Dad's train of thought, he said, "I mean if things go well and you were to be on Blonde's health insurance than you wouldn't have to worry with all this. Didn't you say he is an Investment Banker? It sounds like..."
"Dad!" I know interrupting people is rude (not to mention a pet peeve of mine...guys lose points quickly if they are 'interupters'), but I couldn't let him finish that sentence. This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worse. I have not been having much luck with these damn phone conversations lately. Too bad my dad doesn't know how to text. Or how to use his cell phone. At all.
"I think we both know where this conversation is going and it's nowhere good. I gotta trust my instincts on this one Dad."
"Suit yourself," he replied. "You know, maybe they have dating websites for Danish men only. If you live in Denmark the country pays for healthcare and education, but you have to marry a native Dane. And I bet with your dark hair and eyes you would be considered quite a find there. I would really look into that sweetie".
"Thanks Dad, I'll put that on my 'To Do' list right away," I said somewhat sarcastically, but also thinking that my father might be on to something.
This weekend I will be taking a little break from my online dating escapades to spend a few days in one of my favorite places, New York City! I will be taking a bite out of that proverbial apple while ringing in my 32nd birthday and hopefully scoping out some NYC men. I will report any interesting findings next week.
Whenever I go to New York I can't help but think of Andy Warhol. I became slightly obsessed with his work when I was in college (I was an art history major, so that sort of makes sense). After I graduated from college I read "Edie: American Girl", a biography of Edie Sedgwick who has not only become quite a fashion icon, but was one of Warhol's most significant muses (I'm not sure if 'muses' is actually a word, but you get my drift). Anyway, if I was a lesbian I'd totally have a girl crush on Edie! She can sport a pair of black tights like nobody's business. As a tribute to a fellow Aries, I will post a picture of the enigmatic Edie next to today's entry.
I told my dad how Blonde compared having health insurance to owning a car and that he didn't think the $127 I pay per month for health coverage was a significant amount of money. I also told him that Blonde had texted me the day after our phone conversation asking if I would like to be a stay at home mom and not work at all. I happen to have gotten this text while driving to work and started laughing so hard, I almost rear ended the car in front of me. If I had, I suppose my $127 a month health care plan would have come in handy.
At this my dad paused briefly and then said, "Well, maybe you should give Blonde a chance before you completely discount him. Why don't you meet him in person and see how it goes."
Oh no. I should have seen this one coming. I could just see the wires in my dad's brain connecting these tidbits of information.
Just as I was about to stop Dad's train of thought, he said, "I mean if things go well and you were to be on Blonde's health insurance than you wouldn't have to worry with all this. Didn't you say he is an Investment Banker? It sounds like..."
"Dad!" I know interrupting people is rude (not to mention a pet peeve of mine...guys lose points quickly if they are 'interupters'), but I couldn't let him finish that sentence. This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worse. I have not been having much luck with these damn phone conversations lately. Too bad my dad doesn't know how to text. Or how to use his cell phone. At all.
"I think we both know where this conversation is going and it's nowhere good. I gotta trust my instincts on this one Dad."
"Suit yourself," he replied. "You know, maybe they have dating websites for Danish men only. If you live in Denmark the country pays for healthcare and education, but you have to marry a native Dane. And I bet with your dark hair and eyes you would be considered quite a find there. I would really look into that sweetie".
"Thanks Dad, I'll put that on my 'To Do' list right away," I said somewhat sarcastically, but also thinking that my father might be on to something.
This weekend I will be taking a little break from my online dating escapades to spend a few days in one of my favorite places, New York City! I will be taking a bite out of that proverbial apple while ringing in my 32nd birthday and hopefully scoping out some NYC men. I will report any interesting findings next week.
Whenever I go to New York I can't help but think of Andy Warhol. I became slightly obsessed with his work when I was in college (I was an art history major, so that sort of makes sense). After I graduated from college I read "Edie: American Girl", a biography of Edie Sedgwick who has not only become quite a fashion icon, but was one of Warhol's most significant muses (I'm not sure if 'muses' is actually a word, but you get my drift). Anyway, if I was a lesbian I'd totally have a girl crush on Edie! She can sport a pair of black tights like nobody's business. As a tribute to a fellow Aries, I will post a picture of the enigmatic Edie next to today's entry.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Italian Guy
I had a first date with an Italian guy (I'll call him D'Angelo) on St. Patrick's Day last week. Being part Irish I felt like I was messing with the universe, just a little bit, when I suggested our first date be on March 17th. But, it was my only free night that week (due to work not a booming social life), so what can you do? I had a brief phone conversation with D'Angelo the night before our date and immediately realized how poor his English was. From reading his profile I knew he had moved to the U.S. from Italy, so I wasn't exactly shocked by this. I found his accent to be rather sexy and was looking forward to our first date. D'Angelo suggested getting a bottle of wine and going somewhere to drink it. When he said 'somewhere' I just assumed he met a public place, but I would soon find out otherwise.
We decide to meet at a spot halfway between both of our apartments. For some reason there were no cabs on my street that evening (they were probably all in front of the various Irish pubs around the city...none of which happen to be in near proximity to my apartment). I called D'Angelo to let him know I was running late and having trouble catching a cab. At that point he seemed confused. Apparently he was under the impression our date was going to take place at MY apartment and he thought our meeting place was in walking distance to where I lived. Hmm..Before I knew what was happening I heard myself giving D'Angelo my address and telling him that I would meet him in the lobby of my building. Red flags started popping up all over my brain. Is it a bad idea to invite a guy I've never met to my tiny studio apartment where my bed takes up most of the space? Hmm...
Several minutes later D'Angelo steps out of a cab and I open the front door to my building and greet him. I immediately notice that he is not 6'0". In fact, he is barely my height (which is 5'9"). Dammit. Why do guys find the need to lie about their height to such a significant degree? Maybe women do it too, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm tall, so when a guy bumps up his height a couple of inches (unless he's super, super tall) I notice. I also noticed he wasn't as cute as his picture, but still attractive and appeared to be in good shape. I don't mean to harp on this height thing, but I like to feel feminine around a guy that I am dating and I find that hard when the man in question is shorter than me. Like Tom Cruise (before he became really weird) said in "A Few Good Men", I just want the truth! On dating profiles that is.
So, we head up to my apartment and D'Angelo tells me he brought 3 bottles of wine.
"Great!" I exclaimed. "I do enjoy a nice glass or 4 of wine". This could be a long evening.
After I opened bottle #1 and poured us each a glass, I asked D'Angelo how long he had been living in the U.S. Since his English was pretty rusty, I expected him to say not very long. I was wrong.
"About 10 years now," he answered.
"Wow. Really? Do any of your family members live in the area as well?" I asked.
"Yes, my parents and 2 brothers do," D'Angelo said. "Of course their English is much better than mine. They barely have an Italian accent at all". Then he started on a slight rant about how people born in the U.S. to Italian parents are still American, but since he was born in Italy and came to the U.S. after he was grown he considers himself totally Italian.
"Makes sense to me," I said in between sips of wine.
Conversation was a little rough, but, as we drank the first bottle I learned more about D'Angelo.
"I used to work in the clubs," he said. I always find it interesting when people say that they work 'in the clubs'. I used to know a girl who professed that she did the whole 'club scene' but got sick of it. What does that even mean?
Anyway, when I noticed we were almost done with bottle #1, I suggested we walk down the street to get something to eat. I was starving and the only thing in my 'fridge besides the Brita water pitcher was some grapes and a carton of liquid egg whites. Not much to work with there.
As we walked to the sushi place that is down the block from my apartment, D'Angelo mentioned he spent all his cash on the cab to my place and left his ATM card at home.
"But, I have this old credit card. I don't know if it still works. I'm so embarrassed. I was in rush to meet you and left my card."
"It's ok, no big deal," was what I said while the voice in my head said a string of curse words. I had only been working part-time and my bank account wasn't exactly thriving.
Since he seemed totally confused about the state of his credit card and whether it actually worked or not, I made a suggestion that he call to see if there was any available credit. After a couple minutes of him pressing a ton of buttons, he handed me his phone.
"I don't understand," he said, shoving his iphone in my face. After I heard the familiar words "you have no available credit", I hung up.
We ordered light and I paid the bill.
"I so embarrassed," D'Angelo reiterated.
After we came back to my apartment we had another glass of wine, but I was pretty much done with the date. It was almost midnight and was I definitely feeling the Chardonnay. However, I started get the impression that D'Angelo had no intention of going home that evening.
Damn those red flags, why do they always have to be right!
There was some/a lot of resistance on D'Angelo's part, but he finally left my apartment. I don't know how they do it in Italy, but I don't (usually) move that quickly on a first date. D'Angelo texted me a few times over the course of the week, but I didn't think a second date was in the cards.
Perhaps that's what I get for going out with an Italian guy on an Irish holiday.
Score: -6 points
We decide to meet at a spot halfway between both of our apartments. For some reason there were no cabs on my street that evening (they were probably all in front of the various Irish pubs around the city...none of which happen to be in near proximity to my apartment). I called D'Angelo to let him know I was running late and having trouble catching a cab. At that point he seemed confused. Apparently he was under the impression our date was going to take place at MY apartment and he thought our meeting place was in walking distance to where I lived. Hmm..Before I knew what was happening I heard myself giving D'Angelo my address and telling him that I would meet him in the lobby of my building. Red flags started popping up all over my brain. Is it a bad idea to invite a guy I've never met to my tiny studio apartment where my bed takes up most of the space? Hmm...
Several minutes later D'Angelo steps out of a cab and I open the front door to my building and greet him. I immediately notice that he is not 6'0". In fact, he is barely my height (which is 5'9"). Dammit. Why do guys find the need to lie about their height to such a significant degree? Maybe women do it too, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm tall, so when a guy bumps up his height a couple of inches (unless he's super, super tall) I notice. I also noticed he wasn't as cute as his picture, but still attractive and appeared to be in good shape. I don't mean to harp on this height thing, but I like to feel feminine around a guy that I am dating and I find that hard when the man in question is shorter than me. Like Tom Cruise (before he became really weird) said in "A Few Good Men", I just want the truth! On dating profiles that is.
So, we head up to my apartment and D'Angelo tells me he brought 3 bottles of wine.
"Great!" I exclaimed. "I do enjoy a nice glass or 4 of wine". This could be a long evening.
After I opened bottle #1 and poured us each a glass, I asked D'Angelo how long he had been living in the U.S. Since his English was pretty rusty, I expected him to say not very long. I was wrong.
"About 10 years now," he answered.
"Wow. Really? Do any of your family members live in the area as well?" I asked.
"Yes, my parents and 2 brothers do," D'Angelo said. "Of course their English is much better than mine. They barely have an Italian accent at all". Then he started on a slight rant about how people born in the U.S. to Italian parents are still American, but since he was born in Italy and came to the U.S. after he was grown he considers himself totally Italian.
"Makes sense to me," I said in between sips of wine.
Conversation was a little rough, but, as we drank the first bottle I learned more about D'Angelo.
"I used to work in the clubs," he said. I always find it interesting when people say that they work 'in the clubs'. I used to know a girl who professed that she did the whole 'club scene' but got sick of it. What does that even mean?
Anyway, when I noticed we were almost done with bottle #1, I suggested we walk down the street to get something to eat. I was starving and the only thing in my 'fridge besides the Brita water pitcher was some grapes and a carton of liquid egg whites. Not much to work with there.
As we walked to the sushi place that is down the block from my apartment, D'Angelo mentioned he spent all his cash on the cab to my place and left his ATM card at home.
"But, I have this old credit card. I don't know if it still works. I'm so embarrassed. I was in rush to meet you and left my card."
"It's ok, no big deal," was what I said while the voice in my head said a string of curse words. I had only been working part-time and my bank account wasn't exactly thriving.
Since he seemed totally confused about the state of his credit card and whether it actually worked or not, I made a suggestion that he call to see if there was any available credit. After a couple minutes of him pressing a ton of buttons, he handed me his phone.
"I don't understand," he said, shoving his iphone in my face. After I heard the familiar words "you have no available credit", I hung up.
We ordered light and I paid the bill.
"I so embarrassed," D'Angelo reiterated.
After we came back to my apartment we had another glass of wine, but I was pretty much done with the date. It was almost midnight and was I definitely feeling the Chardonnay. However, I started get the impression that D'Angelo had no intention of going home that evening.
Damn those red flags, why do they always have to be right!
There was some/a lot of resistance on D'Angelo's part, but he finally left my apartment. I don't know how they do it in Italy, but I don't (usually) move that quickly on a first date. D'Angelo texted me a few times over the course of the week, but I didn't think a second date was in the cards.
Perhaps that's what I get for going out with an Italian guy on an Irish holiday.
Score: -6 points
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Pre-Screening Phone calls
Today, I'm going to take a break from my usual type of blog post. Last night I was reminded of the importance of the often overlooked pre-date phone conversation. I'm not a big phone person (actually I loathe talking on the phone and try to do it as little as possible), but sometimes it can really save you from making a dating mistake. I was engaged in a game on phone tag with a guy I'll call Blonde that ended up in a very one-sided 30 minute phone conversation late last night. Can it even be called a conversation when only 1 person is talking? Anyway, I could tell within the first 5 minutes our temperaments were not well suited for each other. Then, the topic of healthcare came up (I assure you I would not bring up something so controversial withing the first few minutes of talking with someone I had never met). Woah. Something was unleashed deep within Blonde and he proceeded to rant for a good 20 minutes rambling on about how healthcare was a luxury much like owning a car. I did not agree with 1 word that came pouring out of his mouth, so I used this time to do some things I hadn't had a chance to take care of during the day, such as checking my email and cleaning my bathroom. The whole conversation left me with a bad feeling about this guy and a bad case of insomnia.
When I woke up this morning, though, I reminded myself that enduring a lousy 30 minute conversation was worth it to prevent a potential bad date from happening (which takes much more time and energy than a mere phone call). I will take this little lesson into consideration for my next potential internet date.
On a somewhat unrelated note; while I was in my apartment building's gym this morning, walking quickly at an uphill slant on the treadmill, I noticed a Cosmopolitan magazine sitting on ground waiting for me to pick it up. As I flipped through the pages my eyes rested on the lovely face that is Ian Somerhalder, i.e. my new celebrity crush. His handsome face and smoldering eyes reminded me of all that is beautiful and good in the world, so I have decided to post a picture of his lovely face.
When I woke up this morning, though, I reminded myself that enduring a lousy 30 minute conversation was worth it to prevent a potential bad date from happening (which takes much more time and energy than a mere phone call). I will take this little lesson into consideration for my next potential internet date.
On a somewhat unrelated note; while I was in my apartment building's gym this morning, walking quickly at an uphill slant on the treadmill, I noticed a Cosmopolitan magazine sitting on ground waiting for me to pick it up. As I flipped through the pages my eyes rested on the lovely face that is Ian Somerhalder, i.e. my new celebrity crush. His handsome face and smoldering eyes reminded me of all that is beautiful and good in the world, so I have decided to post a picture of his lovely face.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ex Navy Guy
I had been communicating with this guy (I'll call Blue) on OkCupid, one of the 2 dating sites I'm currently using, when we decided to meet in person for a Friday night date. I know what you're thinking...Friday night is a big commitment for a first date with a guy you have never met, but I was willing to risk it because this guy seemed really intriguing and my social life wasn't exactly thriving.
Blue suggested something somewhat out of the ordinary for our first date. A jazz show held at a church in Northeast DC (the church rented out the building on the weekends, so there wasn't any kind of actual church service held). I'm not the biggest jazz fan and tend not to venture into N.E. that often, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone so this was good. After a couple of phones calls asking which Metro stop I should take (despite having lived in DC for over 6 years I can barely navigate my way out of my immediate neighborhood..which probably doesn't bode well for me) I was on my way to meet Blue. He met me at the metro station and we recognized each other right away. Blue gave me a warm hug, putting me at ease and I was happy to see that he was indeed 6'0" and just as cute as his profile picture.
The jazz show was more fun than I had anticipated and after it ended we walked over to the Mandarin Hotel for a delicious sushi dinner. Sushi is my absolute favorite food, so the fact that Blue also liked it automatically earned him a point. We learned a great deal about each other over dinner. Blue currently worked in property management for the military and had been in the Navy when he was in his early twenties (he was currently 36). I have never been fan of the armed forces (despite the fact that my dad had served in the Army and now gets a great rate on car insurance through USAA), but he quickly mentioned that before he got his real estate license he worked as an architect in New York. I just started working as an assistant to an architect here in DC, so we bonded over some of our favorite trends in architecture. Plus, I quizzed him about living in New York, one of my all time favorite cities. Conversation flowed the entire evening even though I was slightly disappointed when after I ordered a glass of red wine, he mentioned he didn't drink. After dinner, he drove me home and gave me a quick (yet passionate) kiss telling me how much fun he had. I agreed and was happy to hear from him the following day.
We continued to date for about a month, but things seem to go steadily downhill. While he had a very dry sense of humor (which I like), he wasn't a great conversationalist and often appeared to be slightly narcoleptic. When we were together I found myself wanting to pinch him or grab his arm to see if I could find a pulse.
A couple of weeks later Blue met a friend and I out at a bar we frequented on the weekends. This was slightly awkward since he didn't drink. However, I couldn't tell if it was me, and not him, who felt awkward. My friend and I were trying to involve him in conversation, but the whole evening felt a little sort of forced. Blue seemed out of his element and kept kissing my hands which was a nice gesture, but made me extremely self conscious.
I was beginning to think we really didn't have much in common, but there was something I genuinely liked about Blue that I just couldn't put my finger on. Granted there was definite physical attraction, but what else? The more we hung out, the less it seemed we had to talk about and awkward silences seemed to grow exponentially. Still, I kept trying to make something work. Was it the fact that he made me laugh? Or a feeling of security that he gave me? Or was it simply that I was getting tired of online dating and was grasping at straws to form a relationship?
Well, I didn't need to spend much more time contemplating a possible relationship with Blue. As the snow began to fall on DC, our not-yet-a-relationship hit an icy patch. We were sitting at a Thai restaurant near my apartment on what was to become our last date. I was already in a bad mood because Blue was late to make plans for the evening and I was starving. As my blood sugar dropped, he started telling me about his upcoming work trip to South Carolina.
When I asked him what he would be doing in South Carolina, Blue responded, "Well, I'll be helping to clear land for bombings".
Wait. What? It was all I could do to keep the huge gulp of water I had just swallowed from spewing out of my nose.
"I'm sorry, did you just say BOMBINGS?" I asked. Uh oh, a nerve was just struck. I could feel my eyes starting to pop out of their sockets and my blood was reaching a startling boiling point.
Blue reiterated his last statement in his usual ultra calm manner.
But, it was too late. The seed had been planted and my wrath was unleashed. I don't remember exactly what came pouring out of my mouth, but I do know it included many unkind words about the military. There were words about trees too...kind words. And the environment. And then more bad words about the military. And bombs that kill trees and houses and people...
Through all this Blue remained perfectly silent (which I think irritated me even more) although his eyebrows were now almost past his forehead. We never really recovered from that dinner interaction and that ended up being the last time Blue and I would ever see each other.
I pretty much never have explosive conversations with anyone as I rarely get worked up over anything that doesn't involve me forgetting to pay a bill. Did I over react to Blue's statement or was I just reacting to something I felt more strongly about than I had once thought? Please weigh in on your thoughts. Is it ok to have 'deal breaker's in potential relationships?
Score: 4 points
Blue suggested something somewhat out of the ordinary for our first date. A jazz show held at a church in Northeast DC (the church rented out the building on the weekends, so there wasn't any kind of actual church service held). I'm not the biggest jazz fan and tend not to venture into N.E. that often, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone so this was good. After a couple of phones calls asking which Metro stop I should take (despite having lived in DC for over 6 years I can barely navigate my way out of my immediate neighborhood..which probably doesn't bode well for me) I was on my way to meet Blue. He met me at the metro station and we recognized each other right away. Blue gave me a warm hug, putting me at ease and I was happy to see that he was indeed 6'0" and just as cute as his profile picture.
The jazz show was more fun than I had anticipated and after it ended we walked over to the Mandarin Hotel for a delicious sushi dinner. Sushi is my absolute favorite food, so the fact that Blue also liked it automatically earned him a point. We learned a great deal about each other over dinner. Blue currently worked in property management for the military and had been in the Navy when he was in his early twenties (he was currently 36). I have never been fan of the armed forces (despite the fact that my dad had served in the Army and now gets a great rate on car insurance through USAA), but he quickly mentioned that before he got his real estate license he worked as an architect in New York. I just started working as an assistant to an architect here in DC, so we bonded over some of our favorite trends in architecture. Plus, I quizzed him about living in New York, one of my all time favorite cities. Conversation flowed the entire evening even though I was slightly disappointed when after I ordered a glass of red wine, he mentioned he didn't drink. After dinner, he drove me home and gave me a quick (yet passionate) kiss telling me how much fun he had. I agreed and was happy to hear from him the following day.
We continued to date for about a month, but things seem to go steadily downhill. While he had a very dry sense of humor (which I like), he wasn't a great conversationalist and often appeared to be slightly narcoleptic. When we were together I found myself wanting to pinch him or grab his arm to see if I could find a pulse.
A couple of weeks later Blue met a friend and I out at a bar we frequented on the weekends. This was slightly awkward since he didn't drink. However, I couldn't tell if it was me, and not him, who felt awkward. My friend and I were trying to involve him in conversation, but the whole evening felt a little sort of forced. Blue seemed out of his element and kept kissing my hands which was a nice gesture, but made me extremely self conscious.
I was beginning to think we really didn't have much in common, but there was something I genuinely liked about Blue that I just couldn't put my finger on. Granted there was definite physical attraction, but what else? The more we hung out, the less it seemed we had to talk about and awkward silences seemed to grow exponentially. Still, I kept trying to make something work. Was it the fact that he made me laugh? Or a feeling of security that he gave me? Or was it simply that I was getting tired of online dating and was grasping at straws to form a relationship?
Well, I didn't need to spend much more time contemplating a possible relationship with Blue. As the snow began to fall on DC, our not-yet-a-relationship hit an icy patch. We were sitting at a Thai restaurant near my apartment on what was to become our last date. I was already in a bad mood because Blue was late to make plans for the evening and I was starving. As my blood sugar dropped, he started telling me about his upcoming work trip to South Carolina.
When I asked him what he would be doing in South Carolina, Blue responded, "Well, I'll be helping to clear land for bombings".
Wait. What? It was all I could do to keep the huge gulp of water I had just swallowed from spewing out of my nose.
"I'm sorry, did you just say BOMBINGS?" I asked. Uh oh, a nerve was just struck. I could feel my eyes starting to pop out of their sockets and my blood was reaching a startling boiling point.
Blue reiterated his last statement in his usual ultra calm manner.
But, it was too late. The seed had been planted and my wrath was unleashed. I don't remember exactly what came pouring out of my mouth, but I do know it included many unkind words about the military. There were words about trees too...kind words. And the environment. And then more bad words about the military. And bombs that kill trees and houses and people...
Through all this Blue remained perfectly silent (which I think irritated me even more) although his eyebrows were now almost past his forehead. We never really recovered from that dinner interaction and that ended up being the last time Blue and I would ever see each other.
I pretty much never have explosive conversations with anyone as I rarely get worked up over anything that doesn't involve me forgetting to pay a bill. Did I over react to Blue's statement or was I just reacting to something I felt more strongly about than I had once thought? Please weigh in on your thoughts. Is it ok to have 'deal breaker's in potential relationships?
Score: 4 points
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Debater Guy
So, I'm back at my favorite Mexican restaurant in Cleveland Park for yet another first internet date with guy I'll refer to as Phil. I had a bad experience with Invisalign Guy at this very same restaurant the previous week, but I decided to give the place another try. And I was in the mood for a margarita.
Phil and I ran into each other on the sidewalk in front of the entrance and quickly shook hands and went inside to grab a table. Phil was pretty much a spitting image of his picture, which gave me some reassurance that photographs on these sites can actually be accurate (I have A LOT to say on the topic of online photographs, but I'll save that for another post). We sat across from each other and as we peeled off our many layers of outerwear I remarked at how chilly it was outside.
"Really? I think it's pretty warm, " Phil retorted. Warm? It was probably in the mid thirties and we were both wearing winter coats, scarves and gloves. WTF?
Before I could respond to PHil's statement a very familiar looking server brought us two large glasses of water (crap, was this the same overly attentive person who waited on Invisalign Guy and me?). I noticed Phil was wearing what appeared to be a white mock turtleneck under his sweater. I know what you're thinking...do clothing designers even MAKE mock turtlenecks anymore? I thought they went out of existence around the same time as tight rolled, acid washed jeans and pastel colored tube socks. Regardless I was not digging this look for Phil.
We both began sifting through the menu and Phil asked me if I liked margaritas. I eagerly responded that I did and he said they made good ones there and then began quizzing me on my preference of rocks or blended, salt or no salt. I told him as long as there was Tequila in the mix, I didn't really care. He did not seem amused by my answer and when the server came to take our order he asked for a glass of wine.
Hmm..things were not off to a great start.
We began to talk about our jobs...well, his job and my lack of one (I was unemployed at the time).
Then somehow Phil got to talking about the federal government's website. "You know it's accessible to the public," he informed me.
"You don't say," I responded staring at his mock turtleneck wondering where he could have even purchased this garment.
He goes on to tell me that the government spends most of it's money on social programs. At this I almost choked on my margarita and entered into an uncontrollable coughing fit. I challenged his statement and when he assured me that it was true and told me I could look on the website myself if I didn't believe him. At this point he grabbed his Blackberry from his coat pocket and set it on the table. Afraid he was actually going to go to the website in question, I quickly stated that I was glad taxpayers' money was used to fund social programs.
"They SHOULD spend it on social programs, " I said emphatically and slightly pounded my fist on the table for dramatic effect. He just looked at me. Phil was a real master at the blank stare.
This is going to be the longest first date ever, I thought looking around for our server. I was already done with my margarita while Phil had barely touched his glass of wine. Luckily I caught the server's eye and made a quick gesture to my drink and before I knew it another lovely beverage was placed in front of me.
As I took a gulp of my fresh margarita, I noticed Phil's Blackberry was almost exactly the same as mine. Desperately wanting to change the topic of conversation away from the federal government, I began rambling on about my Blackberry and the AT&T plan I have. Phil also has AT&T. What do you know? We actually had something in common.
Feeling good that he hadn't tried to contradict me in the past 15 minutes I almost started to enjoy myself. ALMOST that is. I happened to mention the fact that I thought my plan was a little on the expensive side, but was told by the guys at the Georgetown At&T store that it was the absolute cheapest plan I could get that also included unlimited texting.
"I'm a big texter," I said.
"Wow, I think you're paying way too much," Phil said. "I know I pay less than that per month".
"But they told me I was on the lowest plan. Trust me I tried everything to get something lower and I KNOW they wouldn't have lied to me...they seemed like really nice guys." But, I started to doubt myself...could I have been paying less for the 24 plus months I've been using AT&T? Did the Georgetown AT&T people try and take advantage of me because I'm not technologically savvy?
Low and behold, Phil starts typing away on his Blackberry to search for his AT&T plan.
"Oh, I guess I do pay what you pay per month", he muttered in a barely audible voice.
And there you have it. I was right. And I was done. With my margarita and with Phil.
Score: -4 points
Phil and I ran into each other on the sidewalk in front of the entrance and quickly shook hands and went inside to grab a table. Phil was pretty much a spitting image of his picture, which gave me some reassurance that photographs on these sites can actually be accurate (I have A LOT to say on the topic of online photographs, but I'll save that for another post). We sat across from each other and as we peeled off our many layers of outerwear I remarked at how chilly it was outside.
"Really? I think it's pretty warm, " Phil retorted. Warm? It was probably in the mid thirties and we were both wearing winter coats, scarves and gloves. WTF?
Before I could respond to PHil's statement a very familiar looking server brought us two large glasses of water (crap, was this the same overly attentive person who waited on Invisalign Guy and me?). I noticed Phil was wearing what appeared to be a white mock turtleneck under his sweater. I know what you're thinking...do clothing designers even MAKE mock turtlenecks anymore? I thought they went out of existence around the same time as tight rolled, acid washed jeans and pastel colored tube socks. Regardless I was not digging this look for Phil.
We both began sifting through the menu and Phil asked me if I liked margaritas. I eagerly responded that I did and he said they made good ones there and then began quizzing me on my preference of rocks or blended, salt or no salt. I told him as long as there was Tequila in the mix, I didn't really care. He did not seem amused by my answer and when the server came to take our order he asked for a glass of wine.
Hmm..things were not off to a great start.
We began to talk about our jobs...well, his job and my lack of one (I was unemployed at the time).
Then somehow Phil got to talking about the federal government's website. "You know it's accessible to the public," he informed me.
"You don't say," I responded staring at his mock turtleneck wondering where he could have even purchased this garment.
He goes on to tell me that the government spends most of it's money on social programs. At this I almost choked on my margarita and entered into an uncontrollable coughing fit. I challenged his statement and when he assured me that it was true and told me I could look on the website myself if I didn't believe him. At this point he grabbed his Blackberry from his coat pocket and set it on the table. Afraid he was actually going to go to the website in question, I quickly stated that I was glad taxpayers' money was used to fund social programs.
"They SHOULD spend it on social programs, " I said emphatically and slightly pounded my fist on the table for dramatic effect. He just looked at me. Phil was a real master at the blank stare.
This is going to be the longest first date ever, I thought looking around for our server. I was already done with my margarita while Phil had barely touched his glass of wine. Luckily I caught the server's eye and made a quick gesture to my drink and before I knew it another lovely beverage was placed in front of me.
As I took a gulp of my fresh margarita, I noticed Phil's Blackberry was almost exactly the same as mine. Desperately wanting to change the topic of conversation away from the federal government, I began rambling on about my Blackberry and the AT&T plan I have. Phil also has AT&T. What do you know? We actually had something in common.
Feeling good that he hadn't tried to contradict me in the past 15 minutes I almost started to enjoy myself. ALMOST that is. I happened to mention the fact that I thought my plan was a little on the expensive side, but was told by the guys at the Georgetown At&T store that it was the absolute cheapest plan I could get that also included unlimited texting.
"I'm a big texter," I said.
"Wow, I think you're paying way too much," Phil said. "I know I pay less than that per month".
"But they told me I was on the lowest plan. Trust me I tried everything to get something lower and I KNOW they wouldn't have lied to me...they seemed like really nice guys." But, I started to doubt myself...could I have been paying less for the 24 plus months I've been using AT&T? Did the Georgetown AT&T people try and take advantage of me because I'm not technologically savvy?
Low and behold, Phil starts typing away on his Blackberry to search for his AT&T plan.
"Oh, I guess I do pay what you pay per month", he muttered in a barely audible voice.
And there you have it. I was right. And I was done. With my margarita and with Phil.
Score: -4 points
Monday, March 8, 2010
UFO Guy
I met a thirtysomething lawyer after work for a drink at a trendy bar on 14th Street. As I was walking there, he sent a text letting me know he was already at the bar. This calmed my nerves a little as now I wouldn't have to worry about standing alone cradling a glass of wine while staring at the door wondering if each guy who entered was 'him'. As soon as I walked in the very crowded wine bar I noticed a extremely attractive guy walking toward me smiling. Oooh...good sign, I thought. He was slightly taller than me and more attractive than his profile picture. Two very good things that tend to not happen very often (in my experience). I'm relatively tall for a woman and often feel as if I live in a city inhabited by short men. Not that there is anything wrong with short men per say, I just like to know a prospective date has the ability to pick me up at any given moment and not vice versa.
After a brief introduction we decided to go to another bar across the street that promised to be less crowded. I immediately noticed that he was very well dressed, another plus. We found seats at the bar of the second place and began talking about our lives. Several glasses of wine later I found myself to be completely enthralled by how brilliant and interesting this guy was. I started to fantasize about future dates and then something he said made me slowly come back to reality.
"And that's when I started doing extensive research on the existence of UFOs. I really want to prove to people they exist and come to Earth much more often than people realize".
Wait. What?
In my inebriated, daydreaming haze I had completely missed the fact that this guy had been rambling on about various UFO findings and his obsession with them for the past twenty-five minutes. I suppose I always thought it was kind of fun to think there were other life forms out there and know there have been evidence of UFO sightings, but I had never spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating it. And I definitely never conducted 'extensive' research on the topic.
I told him I was totally open to the idea that there was indeed life on other planets and believed UFOs could very well have landed here on Earth. He looked at me like it wasn't a question of whether they existed or not, but more about when the next UFO was going to come and where will we be when it arrives.
Now, I usually pride myself on being able to hold my own in most conversations, but this was a tough one. Was I more drunk than I thought or was this guy really being as serious as he seemed at that moment? Regardless (as I previously mentioned) he was very cute, tall AND successful so I didn't want the date to end just yet.
Around this time the bartender asked if we wanted yet another round. Considering I had almost slipped off my barstool a number of times, we collectively decided we had consumed enough wine for one evening. I remember him paying the bill and then what do you know? We continued the date back at my apartment.
All in all the date was pretty fun, but I just couldn't grasp his passion regarding the extraterrestrial. He sent me a nice text later the next day, but I didn't hear from him again for another 3 weeks and by then I was off on my next misadventure. To this day, whenever I come across my old VHS tape of "E.T" (which is often as my apartment is small so everything is pretty much visible) I think of him.
Score: 6 points
After a brief introduction we decided to go to another bar across the street that promised to be less crowded. I immediately noticed that he was very well dressed, another plus. We found seats at the bar of the second place and began talking about our lives. Several glasses of wine later I found myself to be completely enthralled by how brilliant and interesting this guy was. I started to fantasize about future dates and then something he said made me slowly come back to reality.
"And that's when I started doing extensive research on the existence of UFOs. I really want to prove to people they exist and come to Earth much more often than people realize".
Wait. What?
In my inebriated, daydreaming haze I had completely missed the fact that this guy had been rambling on about various UFO findings and his obsession with them for the past twenty-five minutes. I suppose I always thought it was kind of fun to think there were other life forms out there and know there have been evidence of UFO sightings, but I had never spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating it. And I definitely never conducted 'extensive' research on the topic.
I told him I was totally open to the idea that there was indeed life on other planets and believed UFOs could very well have landed here on Earth. He looked at me like it wasn't a question of whether they existed or not, but more about when the next UFO was going to come and where will we be when it arrives.
Now, I usually pride myself on being able to hold my own in most conversations, but this was a tough one. Was I more drunk than I thought or was this guy really being as serious as he seemed at that moment? Regardless (as I previously mentioned) he was very cute, tall AND successful so I didn't want the date to end just yet.
Around this time the bartender asked if we wanted yet another round. Considering I had almost slipped off my barstool a number of times, we collectively decided we had consumed enough wine for one evening. I remember him paying the bill and then what do you know? We continued the date back at my apartment.
All in all the date was pretty fun, but I just couldn't grasp his passion regarding the extraterrestrial. He sent me a nice text later the next day, but I didn't hear from him again for another 3 weeks and by then I was off on my next misadventure. To this day, whenever I come across my old VHS tape of "E.T" (which is often as my apartment is small so everything is pretty much visible) I think of him.
Score: 6 points
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Invisalign Guy
I met this guy for drinks at a Mexican restaurant in Cleveland Park. We happened to arrive simultaneously and made a quick introduction. When he smiled I noticed an unusually bright glimmer of light emanate from his bottom row of teeth. Being a proponent of proper dental hygiene and knowing it is rude to stare, I quickly dismissed any curiosity I had. We sat at a small table near the bar and were quickly greeted by an overly enthusiastic server carrying 2 glasses of water. After we ordered drinks I watched in horror as he took his Invisalign out of his mouth and nonchalantly placed it on top of the napkin next to his water glass (did I mention this guy was 36?).” Nooo!” screamed the voice in my head. My eyes couldn’t resist following his hand movement from mouth to napkin. This was not a good sign. Not. At. All. I would like to say that the date improved from there, but who are we kidding? I waited a respectable amount of time before dashing to the restroom to text my friend (she and I have a ‘bathroom texting’ pact on all 1st online dates). She quickly responded with many exclamation points asking me if I was joking. Unfortunately, I was not.
I honestly couldn’t tell you what we talked about over the next hour and a half. But, I do know I drank 2 glasses of wine very quickly and felt his plastic dental apparatus staring at me from it’s little napkin the entire time. When the server brought the check he quickly threw down a credit card without hesitation (which was very nice of him). As we stood up to leave he asked me if I wanted to “watch me play pool”. Yes, those were the exact words out of his mouth. I politely declined the wonderful offer and uttered something about needing to get home. Since I had taken a cab to the restaurant and he had driven, he offered to give me a ride home. I probably should have said no, but hey I was unemployed at the time and wanted to save 10 bucks. Not surprisingly, the conversation in the car proceeded to get very strange. I learned far too much about his religious upbringing and his days attending a Baptist high school. He made it a point to mention that most of his family is still very religious. Needless to say as his car slowed to a stop in front of my apartment building I already had the car door open and seatbelt unbuckled. I thanked him for the drinks and ride home and headed into the lobby of my building as if I was escaping from a fire. The next morning I received an email from him expressing his interest for a 2nd date. I never responded.
Score: -3 points
I honestly couldn’t tell you what we talked about over the next hour and a half. But, I do know I drank 2 glasses of wine very quickly and felt his plastic dental apparatus staring at me from it’s little napkin the entire time. When the server brought the check he quickly threw down a credit card without hesitation (which was very nice of him). As we stood up to leave he asked me if I wanted to “watch me play pool”. Yes, those were the exact words out of his mouth. I politely declined the wonderful offer and uttered something about needing to get home. Since I had taken a cab to the restaurant and he had driven, he offered to give me a ride home. I probably should have said no, but hey I was unemployed at the time and wanted to save 10 bucks. Not surprisingly, the conversation in the car proceeded to get very strange. I learned far too much about his religious upbringing and his days attending a Baptist high school. He made it a point to mention that most of his family is still very religious. Needless to say as his car slowed to a stop in front of my apartment building I already had the car door open and seatbelt unbuckled. I thanked him for the drinks and ride home and headed into the lobby of my building as if I was escaping from a fire. The next morning I received an email from him expressing his interest for a 2nd date. I never responded.
Score: -3 points
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