Ex Navy Guy

I had been communicating with this guy (I'll call Blue) on OkCupid, one of the 2 dating sites I'm currently using, when we decided to meet in person for a Friday night date. I know what you're thinking...Friday night is a big commitment for a first date with a guy you have never met, but I was willing to risk it because this guy seemed really intriguing and my social life wasn't exactly thriving.

Blue suggested something somewhat out of the ordinary for our first date. A jazz show held at a church in Northeast DC (the church rented out the building on the weekends, so there wasn't any kind of actual church service held). I'm not the biggest jazz fan and tend not to venture into N.E. that often, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone so this was good. After a couple of phones calls asking which Metro stop I should take (despite having lived in DC for over 6 years I can barely navigate my way out of my immediate neighborhood..which probably doesn't bode well for me) I was on my way to meet Blue. He met me at the metro station and we recognized each other right away. Blue gave me a warm hug, putting me at ease and I was happy to see that he was indeed 6'0" and just as cute as his profile picture.

The jazz show was more fun than I had anticipated and after it ended we walked over to the Mandarin Hotel for a delicious sushi dinner. Sushi is my absolute favorite food, so the fact that Blue also liked it automatically earned him a point. We learned a great deal about each other over dinner. Blue currently worked in property management for the military and had been in the Navy when he was in his early twenties (he was currently 36). I have never been fan of the armed forces (despite the fact that my dad had served in the Army and now gets a great rate on car insurance through USAA), but he quickly mentioned that before he got his real estate license he worked as an architect in New York. I just started working as an assistant to an architect here in DC, so we bonded over some of our favorite trends in architecture. Plus, I quizzed him about living in New York, one of my all time favorite cities. Conversation flowed the entire evening even though I was slightly disappointed when after I ordered a glass of red wine, he mentioned he didn't drink. After dinner, he drove me home and gave me a quick (yet passionate) kiss telling me how much fun he had. I agreed and was happy to hear from him the following day.

We continued to date for about a month, but things seem to go steadily downhill. While he had a very dry sense of humor (which I like), he wasn't a great conversationalist and often appeared to be slightly narcoleptic. When we were together I found myself wanting to pinch him or grab his arm to see if I could find a pulse.

A couple of weeks later Blue met a friend and I out at a bar we frequented on the weekends. This was slightly awkward since he didn't drink. However, I couldn't tell if it was me, and not him, who felt awkward. My friend and I were trying to involve him in conversation, but the whole evening felt a little sort of forced. Blue seemed out of his element and kept kissing my hands which was a nice gesture, but made me extremely self conscious.

I was beginning to think we really didn't have much in common, but there was something I genuinely liked about Blue that I just couldn't put my finger on. Granted there was definite physical attraction, but what else? The more we hung out, the less it seemed we had to talk about and awkward silences seemed to grow exponentially. Still, I kept trying to make something work. Was it the fact that he made me laugh? Or a feeling of security that he gave me? Or was it simply that I was getting tired of online dating and was grasping at straws to form a relationship?

Well, I didn't need to spend much more time contemplating a possible relationship with Blue. As the snow began to fall on DC, our not-yet-a-relationship hit an icy patch. We were sitting at a Thai restaurant near my apartment on what was to become our last date. I was already in a bad mood because Blue was late to make plans for the evening and I was starving. As my blood sugar dropped, he started telling me about his upcoming work trip to South Carolina.

When I asked him what he would be doing in South Carolina, Blue responded, "Well, I'll be helping to clear land for bombings".

Wait. What? It was all I could do to keep the huge gulp of water I had just swallowed from spewing out of my nose.

"I'm sorry, did you just say BOMBINGS?" I asked. Uh oh, a nerve was just struck. I could feel my eyes starting to pop out of their sockets and my blood was reaching a startling boiling point.

Blue reiterated his last statement in his usual ultra calm manner.

But, it was too late. The seed had been planted and my wrath was unleashed. I don't remember exactly what came pouring out of my mouth, but I do know it included many unkind words about the military. There were words about trees too...kind words. And the environment. And then more bad words about the military. And bombs that kill trees and houses and people...

Through all this Blue remained perfectly silent (which I think irritated me even more) although his eyebrows were now almost past his forehead. We never really recovered from that dinner interaction and that ended up being the last time Blue and I would ever see each other.

I pretty much never have explosive conversations with anyone as I rarely get worked up over anything that doesn't involve me forgetting to pay a bill. Did I over react to Blue's statement or was I just reacting to something I felt more strongly about than I had once thought? Please weigh in on your thoughts. Is it ok to have 'deal breaker's in potential relationships?
Score: 4 points