Monday, March 29, 2010
I Love NYC!
I am now another year older (and still single) but that's okay because I had a fabulous weekend in NYC celebrating my birthday! Every time I go to New York City, I can't help but notice how damn fashionable people are there. That and the large volume of handsome men who roam the streets at any given hour. Good looking and well dressed, such a winning combination! Plus, these mystery men are probably guaranteed to have solid jobs as it takes a good deal of money to live in NYC and be fashion forward.
My friend and I went out with a bang on Friday night. Our first stop was a bar in the Village. I felt as though every time I looked up from my Stoli-O and soda another hot male had entered the building. Of course, most of them were talking to equally attractive females. Competition was stiff.
At some point in the evening (after I lost count of the number of cocktails I had consumed, having spilled at least 1) I noticed a small group of very young looking guys dressed in ties and blazers.
"These guys are practically zygotes," I whispered to my friend.
Fresh meat is hard to resist. I turned around and started talking to the group collectively. I found out they were all recent graduates of the University of Virginia, my alma mater. This was enough of an 'in' for me to forge a conversation. I have no idea what we talked about, but I seemed to hit it off with one in particular, who I'll call Prep. Prep did not look a day over 16 and I'm pretty sure I pinched his cheeks more than once.
A little while later my friend and I headed to a bar a few blocks away to meet up with her sister and some of her friends. I was surprised when Prep ditched his friends and came with us. Things start to get a little blurry at the second bar. I do remember a dance floor and 80's music. And once I heard Michael Jackson's voice boom from the speakers, I was a goner. Off to the dance floor I went and totally forgot about Prep. My friend told me he left shortly thereafter. He texted me about going to brunch the next day and apparently I replied 'yes!' (this was around 1:00AM, we didn't leave the bar until 4).
Alas, I didn't make it to brunch the next day. Actually, I didn't make it very far from the hotel bed. Apparently, my 32 year old body does not take kindly to large quantities of vodka.
So, what did I learn on my weekend adventure?
1. I love NYC, but would probably have to live in an apartment with 10 other people and have 4 jobs in order to enjoy the nightlife and look good while doing it.
2. It was flattering a guy almost 10 years younger than me thought I was cute.
3. I can't drink like I did when I was in my 20's!
My friend and I went out with a bang on Friday night. Our first stop was a bar in the Village. I felt as though every time I looked up from my Stoli-O and soda another hot male had entered the building. Of course, most of them were talking to equally attractive females. Competition was stiff.
At some point in the evening (after I lost count of the number of cocktails I had consumed, having spilled at least 1) I noticed a small group of very young looking guys dressed in ties and blazers.
"These guys are practically zygotes," I whispered to my friend.
Fresh meat is hard to resist. I turned around and started talking to the group collectively. I found out they were all recent graduates of the University of Virginia, my alma mater. This was enough of an 'in' for me to forge a conversation. I have no idea what we talked about, but I seemed to hit it off with one in particular, who I'll call Prep. Prep did not look a day over 16 and I'm pretty sure I pinched his cheeks more than once.
A little while later my friend and I headed to a bar a few blocks away to meet up with her sister and some of her friends. I was surprised when Prep ditched his friends and came with us. Things start to get a little blurry at the second bar. I do remember a dance floor and 80's music. And once I heard Michael Jackson's voice boom from the speakers, I was a goner. Off to the dance floor I went and totally forgot about Prep. My friend told me he left shortly thereafter. He texted me about going to brunch the next day and apparently I replied 'yes!' (this was around 1:00AM, we didn't leave the bar until 4).
Alas, I didn't make it to brunch the next day. Actually, I didn't make it very far from the hotel bed. Apparently, my 32 year old body does not take kindly to large quantities of vodka.
So, what did I learn on my weekend adventure?
1. I love NYC, but would probably have to live in an apartment with 10 other people and have 4 jobs in order to enjoy the nightlife and look good while doing it.
2. It was flattering a guy almost 10 years younger than me thought I was cute.
3. I can't drink like I did when I was in my 20's!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Pre-Screening Phone Calls Part 2
I was talking to my dad on the phone the other night and the new Healthcare Reform Act came up in conversation. I couldn't help but rehash the conversation I had with Blonde last week. My parents know all about my online dating expeditions and think it's 'neat' that I started a blog detailing them.
I told my dad how Blonde compared having health insurance to owning a car and that he didn't think the $127 I pay per month for health coverage was a significant amount of money. I also told him that Blonde had texted me the day after our phone conversation asking if I would like to be a stay at home mom and not work at all. I happen to have gotten this text while driving to work and started laughing so hard, I almost rear ended the car in front of me. If I had, I suppose my $127 a month health care plan would have come in handy.
At this my dad paused briefly and then said, "Well, maybe you should give Blonde a chance before you completely discount him. Why don't you meet him in person and see how it goes."
Oh no. I should have seen this one coming. I could just see the wires in my dad's brain connecting these tidbits of information.
Just as I was about to stop Dad's train of thought, he said, "I mean if things go well and you were to be on Blonde's health insurance than you wouldn't have to worry with all this. Didn't you say he is an Investment Banker? It sounds like..."
"Dad!" I know interrupting people is rude (not to mention a pet peeve of mine...guys lose points quickly if they are 'interupters'), but I couldn't let him finish that sentence. This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worse. I have not been having much luck with these damn phone conversations lately. Too bad my dad doesn't know how to text. Or how to use his cell phone. At all.
"I think we both know where this conversation is going and it's nowhere good. I gotta trust my instincts on this one Dad."
"Suit yourself," he replied. "You know, maybe they have dating websites for Danish men only. If you live in Denmark the country pays for healthcare and education, but you have to marry a native Dane. And I bet with your dark hair and eyes you would be considered quite a find there. I would really look into that sweetie".
"Thanks Dad, I'll put that on my 'To Do' list right away," I said somewhat sarcastically, but also thinking that my father might be on to something.
This weekend I will be taking a little break from my online dating escapades to spend a few days in one of my favorite places, New York City! I will be taking a bite out of that proverbial apple while ringing in my 32nd birthday and hopefully scoping out some NYC men. I will report any interesting findings next week.
Whenever I go to New York I can't help but think of Andy Warhol. I became slightly obsessed with his work when I was in college (I was an art history major, so that sort of makes sense). After I graduated from college I read "Edie: American Girl", a biography of Edie Sedgwick who has not only become quite a fashion icon, but was one of Warhol's most significant muses (I'm not sure if 'muses' is actually a word, but you get my drift). Anyway, if I was a lesbian I'd totally have a girl crush on Edie! She can sport a pair of black tights like nobody's business. As a tribute to a fellow Aries, I will post a picture of the enigmatic Edie next to today's entry.
I told my dad how Blonde compared having health insurance to owning a car and that he didn't think the $127 I pay per month for health coverage was a significant amount of money. I also told him that Blonde had texted me the day after our phone conversation asking if I would like to be a stay at home mom and not work at all. I happen to have gotten this text while driving to work and started laughing so hard, I almost rear ended the car in front of me. If I had, I suppose my $127 a month health care plan would have come in handy.
At this my dad paused briefly and then said, "Well, maybe you should give Blonde a chance before you completely discount him. Why don't you meet him in person and see how it goes."
Oh no. I should have seen this one coming. I could just see the wires in my dad's brain connecting these tidbits of information.
Just as I was about to stop Dad's train of thought, he said, "I mean if things go well and you were to be on Blonde's health insurance than you wouldn't have to worry with all this. Didn't you say he is an Investment Banker? It sounds like..."
"Dad!" I know interrupting people is rude (not to mention a pet peeve of mine...guys lose points quickly if they are 'interupters'), but I couldn't let him finish that sentence. This conversation had definitely taken a turn for the worse. I have not been having much luck with these damn phone conversations lately. Too bad my dad doesn't know how to text. Or how to use his cell phone. At all.
"I think we both know where this conversation is going and it's nowhere good. I gotta trust my instincts on this one Dad."
"Suit yourself," he replied. "You know, maybe they have dating websites for Danish men only. If you live in Denmark the country pays for healthcare and education, but you have to marry a native Dane. And I bet with your dark hair and eyes you would be considered quite a find there. I would really look into that sweetie".
"Thanks Dad, I'll put that on my 'To Do' list right away," I said somewhat sarcastically, but also thinking that my father might be on to something.
This weekend I will be taking a little break from my online dating escapades to spend a few days in one of my favorite places, New York City! I will be taking a bite out of that proverbial apple while ringing in my 32nd birthday and hopefully scoping out some NYC men. I will report any interesting findings next week.
Whenever I go to New York I can't help but think of Andy Warhol. I became slightly obsessed with his work when I was in college (I was an art history major, so that sort of makes sense). After I graduated from college I read "Edie: American Girl", a biography of Edie Sedgwick who has not only become quite a fashion icon, but was one of Warhol's most significant muses (I'm not sure if 'muses' is actually a word, but you get my drift). Anyway, if I was a lesbian I'd totally have a girl crush on Edie! She can sport a pair of black tights like nobody's business. As a tribute to a fellow Aries, I will post a picture of the enigmatic Edie next to today's entry.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Italian Guy
I had a first date with an Italian guy (I'll call him D'Angelo) on St. Patrick's Day last week. Being part Irish I felt like I was messing with the universe, just a little bit, when I suggested our first date be on March 17th. But, it was my only free night that week (due to work not a booming social life), so what can you do? I had a brief phone conversation with D'Angelo the night before our date and immediately realized how poor his English was. From reading his profile I knew he had moved to the U.S. from Italy, so I wasn't exactly shocked by this. I found his accent to be rather sexy and was looking forward to our first date. D'Angelo suggested getting a bottle of wine and going somewhere to drink it. When he said 'somewhere' I just assumed he met a public place, but I would soon find out otherwise.
We decide to meet at a spot halfway between both of our apartments. For some reason there were no cabs on my street that evening (they were probably all in front of the various Irish pubs around the city...none of which happen to be in near proximity to my apartment). I called D'Angelo to let him know I was running late and having trouble catching a cab. At that point he seemed confused. Apparently he was under the impression our date was going to take place at MY apartment and he thought our meeting place was in walking distance to where I lived. Hmm..Before I knew what was happening I heard myself giving D'Angelo my address and telling him that I would meet him in the lobby of my building. Red flags started popping up all over my brain. Is it a bad idea to invite a guy I've never met to my tiny studio apartment where my bed takes up most of the space? Hmm...
Several minutes later D'Angelo steps out of a cab and I open the front door to my building and greet him. I immediately notice that he is not 6'0". In fact, he is barely my height (which is 5'9"). Dammit. Why do guys find the need to lie about their height to such a significant degree? Maybe women do it too, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm tall, so when a guy bumps up his height a couple of inches (unless he's super, super tall) I notice. I also noticed he wasn't as cute as his picture, but still attractive and appeared to be in good shape. I don't mean to harp on this height thing, but I like to feel feminine around a guy that I am dating and I find that hard when the man in question is shorter than me. Like Tom Cruise (before he became really weird) said in "A Few Good Men", I just want the truth! On dating profiles that is.
So, we head up to my apartment and D'Angelo tells me he brought 3 bottles of wine.
"Great!" I exclaimed. "I do enjoy a nice glass or 4 of wine". This could be a long evening.
After I opened bottle #1 and poured us each a glass, I asked D'Angelo how long he had been living in the U.S. Since his English was pretty rusty, I expected him to say not very long. I was wrong.
"About 10 years now," he answered.
"Wow. Really? Do any of your family members live in the area as well?" I asked.
"Yes, my parents and 2 brothers do," D'Angelo said. "Of course their English is much better than mine. They barely have an Italian accent at all". Then he started on a slight rant about how people born in the U.S. to Italian parents are still American, but since he was born in Italy and came to the U.S. after he was grown he considers himself totally Italian.
"Makes sense to me," I said in between sips of wine.
Conversation was a little rough, but, as we drank the first bottle I learned more about D'Angelo.
"I used to work in the clubs," he said. I always find it interesting when people say that they work 'in the clubs'. I used to know a girl who professed that she did the whole 'club scene' but got sick of it. What does that even mean?
Anyway, when I noticed we were almost done with bottle #1, I suggested we walk down the street to get something to eat. I was starving and the only thing in my 'fridge besides the Brita water pitcher was some grapes and a carton of liquid egg whites. Not much to work with there.
As we walked to the sushi place that is down the block from my apartment, D'Angelo mentioned he spent all his cash on the cab to my place and left his ATM card at home.
"But, I have this old credit card. I don't know if it still works. I'm so embarrassed. I was in rush to meet you and left my card."
"It's ok, no big deal," was what I said while the voice in my head said a string of curse words. I had only been working part-time and my bank account wasn't exactly thriving.
Since he seemed totally confused about the state of his credit card and whether it actually worked or not, I made a suggestion that he call to see if there was any available credit. After a couple minutes of him pressing a ton of buttons, he handed me his phone.
"I don't understand," he said, shoving his iphone in my face. After I heard the familiar words "you have no available credit", I hung up.
We ordered light and I paid the bill.
"I so embarrassed," D'Angelo reiterated.
After we came back to my apartment we had another glass of wine, but I was pretty much done with the date. It was almost midnight and was I definitely feeling the Chardonnay. However, I started get the impression that D'Angelo had no intention of going home that evening.
Damn those red flags, why do they always have to be right!
There was some/a lot of resistance on D'Angelo's part, but he finally left my apartment. I don't know how they do it in Italy, but I don't (usually) move that quickly on a first date. D'Angelo texted me a few times over the course of the week, but I didn't think a second date was in the cards.
Perhaps that's what I get for going out with an Italian guy on an Irish holiday.
Score: -6 points
We decide to meet at a spot halfway between both of our apartments. For some reason there were no cabs on my street that evening (they were probably all in front of the various Irish pubs around the city...none of which happen to be in near proximity to my apartment). I called D'Angelo to let him know I was running late and having trouble catching a cab. At that point he seemed confused. Apparently he was under the impression our date was going to take place at MY apartment and he thought our meeting place was in walking distance to where I lived. Hmm..Before I knew what was happening I heard myself giving D'Angelo my address and telling him that I would meet him in the lobby of my building. Red flags started popping up all over my brain. Is it a bad idea to invite a guy I've never met to my tiny studio apartment where my bed takes up most of the space? Hmm...
Several minutes later D'Angelo steps out of a cab and I open the front door to my building and greet him. I immediately notice that he is not 6'0". In fact, he is barely my height (which is 5'9"). Dammit. Why do guys find the need to lie about their height to such a significant degree? Maybe women do it too, I don't know. What I do know is that I'm tall, so when a guy bumps up his height a couple of inches (unless he's super, super tall) I notice. I also noticed he wasn't as cute as his picture, but still attractive and appeared to be in good shape. I don't mean to harp on this height thing, but I like to feel feminine around a guy that I am dating and I find that hard when the man in question is shorter than me. Like Tom Cruise (before he became really weird) said in "A Few Good Men", I just want the truth! On dating profiles that is.
So, we head up to my apartment and D'Angelo tells me he brought 3 bottles of wine.
"Great!" I exclaimed. "I do enjoy a nice glass or 4 of wine". This could be a long evening.
After I opened bottle #1 and poured us each a glass, I asked D'Angelo how long he had been living in the U.S. Since his English was pretty rusty, I expected him to say not very long. I was wrong.
"About 10 years now," he answered.
"Wow. Really? Do any of your family members live in the area as well?" I asked.
"Yes, my parents and 2 brothers do," D'Angelo said. "Of course their English is much better than mine. They barely have an Italian accent at all". Then he started on a slight rant about how people born in the U.S. to Italian parents are still American, but since he was born in Italy and came to the U.S. after he was grown he considers himself totally Italian.
"Makes sense to me," I said in between sips of wine.
Conversation was a little rough, but, as we drank the first bottle I learned more about D'Angelo.
"I used to work in the clubs," he said. I always find it interesting when people say that they work 'in the clubs'. I used to know a girl who professed that she did the whole 'club scene' but got sick of it. What does that even mean?
Anyway, when I noticed we were almost done with bottle #1, I suggested we walk down the street to get something to eat. I was starving and the only thing in my 'fridge besides the Brita water pitcher was some grapes and a carton of liquid egg whites. Not much to work with there.
As we walked to the sushi place that is down the block from my apartment, D'Angelo mentioned he spent all his cash on the cab to my place and left his ATM card at home.
"But, I have this old credit card. I don't know if it still works. I'm so embarrassed. I was in rush to meet you and left my card."
"It's ok, no big deal," was what I said while the voice in my head said a string of curse words. I had only been working part-time and my bank account wasn't exactly thriving.
Since he seemed totally confused about the state of his credit card and whether it actually worked or not, I made a suggestion that he call to see if there was any available credit. After a couple minutes of him pressing a ton of buttons, he handed me his phone.
"I don't understand," he said, shoving his iphone in my face. After I heard the familiar words "you have no available credit", I hung up.
We ordered light and I paid the bill.
"I so embarrassed," D'Angelo reiterated.
After we came back to my apartment we had another glass of wine, but I was pretty much done with the date. It was almost midnight and was I definitely feeling the Chardonnay. However, I started get the impression that D'Angelo had no intention of going home that evening.
Damn those red flags, why do they always have to be right!
There was some/a lot of resistance on D'Angelo's part, but he finally left my apartment. I don't know how they do it in Italy, but I don't (usually) move that quickly on a first date. D'Angelo texted me a few times over the course of the week, but I didn't think a second date was in the cards.
Perhaps that's what I get for going out with an Italian guy on an Irish holiday.
Score: -6 points
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Pre-Screening Phone calls
Today, I'm going to take a break from my usual type of blog post. Last night I was reminded of the importance of the often overlooked pre-date phone conversation. I'm not a big phone person (actually I loathe talking on the phone and try to do it as little as possible), but sometimes it can really save you from making a dating mistake. I was engaged in a game on phone tag with a guy I'll call Blonde that ended up in a very one-sided 30 minute phone conversation late last night. Can it even be called a conversation when only 1 person is talking? Anyway, I could tell within the first 5 minutes our temperaments were not well suited for each other. Then, the topic of healthcare came up (I assure you I would not bring up something so controversial withing the first few minutes of talking with someone I had never met). Woah. Something was unleashed deep within Blonde and he proceeded to rant for a good 20 minutes rambling on about how healthcare was a luxury much like owning a car. I did not agree with 1 word that came pouring out of his mouth, so I used this time to do some things I hadn't had a chance to take care of during the day, such as checking my email and cleaning my bathroom. The whole conversation left me with a bad feeling about this guy and a bad case of insomnia.
When I woke up this morning, though, I reminded myself that enduring a lousy 30 minute conversation was worth it to prevent a potential bad date from happening (which takes much more time and energy than a mere phone call). I will take this little lesson into consideration for my next potential internet date.
On a somewhat unrelated note; while I was in my apartment building's gym this morning, walking quickly at an uphill slant on the treadmill, I noticed a Cosmopolitan magazine sitting on ground waiting for me to pick it up. As I flipped through the pages my eyes rested on the lovely face that is Ian Somerhalder, i.e. my new celebrity crush. His handsome face and smoldering eyes reminded me of all that is beautiful and good in the world, so I have decided to post a picture of his lovely face.
When I woke up this morning, though, I reminded myself that enduring a lousy 30 minute conversation was worth it to prevent a potential bad date from happening (which takes much more time and energy than a mere phone call). I will take this little lesson into consideration for my next potential internet date.
On a somewhat unrelated note; while I was in my apartment building's gym this morning, walking quickly at an uphill slant on the treadmill, I noticed a Cosmopolitan magazine sitting on ground waiting for me to pick it up. As I flipped through the pages my eyes rested on the lovely face that is Ian Somerhalder, i.e. my new celebrity crush. His handsome face and smoldering eyes reminded me of all that is beautiful and good in the world, so I have decided to post a picture of his lovely face.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Ex Navy Guy
I had been communicating with this guy (I'll call Blue) on OkCupid, one of the 2 dating sites I'm currently using, when we decided to meet in person for a Friday night date. I know what you're thinking...Friday night is a big commitment for a first date with a guy you have never met, but I was willing to risk it because this guy seemed really intriguing and my social life wasn't exactly thriving.
Blue suggested something somewhat out of the ordinary for our first date. A jazz show held at a church in Northeast DC (the church rented out the building on the weekends, so there wasn't any kind of actual church service held). I'm not the biggest jazz fan and tend not to venture into N.E. that often, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone so this was good. After a couple of phones calls asking which Metro stop I should take (despite having lived in DC for over 6 years I can barely navigate my way out of my immediate neighborhood..which probably doesn't bode well for me) I was on my way to meet Blue. He met me at the metro station and we recognized each other right away. Blue gave me a warm hug, putting me at ease and I was happy to see that he was indeed 6'0" and just as cute as his profile picture.
The jazz show was more fun than I had anticipated and after it ended we walked over to the Mandarin Hotel for a delicious sushi dinner. Sushi is my absolute favorite food, so the fact that Blue also liked it automatically earned him a point. We learned a great deal about each other over dinner. Blue currently worked in property management for the military and had been in the Navy when he was in his early twenties (he was currently 36). I have never been fan of the armed forces (despite the fact that my dad had served in the Army and now gets a great rate on car insurance through USAA), but he quickly mentioned that before he got his real estate license he worked as an architect in New York. I just started working as an assistant to an architect here in DC, so we bonded over some of our favorite trends in architecture. Plus, I quizzed him about living in New York, one of my all time favorite cities. Conversation flowed the entire evening even though I was slightly disappointed when after I ordered a glass of red wine, he mentioned he didn't drink. After dinner, he drove me home and gave me a quick (yet passionate) kiss telling me how much fun he had. I agreed and was happy to hear from him the following day.
We continued to date for about a month, but things seem to go steadily downhill. While he had a very dry sense of humor (which I like), he wasn't a great conversationalist and often appeared to be slightly narcoleptic. When we were together I found myself wanting to pinch him or grab his arm to see if I could find a pulse.
A couple of weeks later Blue met a friend and I out at a bar we frequented on the weekends. This was slightly awkward since he didn't drink. However, I couldn't tell if it was me, and not him, who felt awkward. My friend and I were trying to involve him in conversation, but the whole evening felt a little sort of forced. Blue seemed out of his element and kept kissing my hands which was a nice gesture, but made me extremely self conscious.
I was beginning to think we really didn't have much in common, but there was something I genuinely liked about Blue that I just couldn't put my finger on. Granted there was definite physical attraction, but what else? The more we hung out, the less it seemed we had to talk about and awkward silences seemed to grow exponentially. Still, I kept trying to make something work. Was it the fact that he made me laugh? Or a feeling of security that he gave me? Or was it simply that I was getting tired of online dating and was grasping at straws to form a relationship?
Well, I didn't need to spend much more time contemplating a possible relationship with Blue. As the snow began to fall on DC, our not-yet-a-relationship hit an icy patch. We were sitting at a Thai restaurant near my apartment on what was to become our last date. I was already in a bad mood because Blue was late to make plans for the evening and I was starving. As my blood sugar dropped, he started telling me about his upcoming work trip to South Carolina.
When I asked him what he would be doing in South Carolina, Blue responded, "Well, I'll be helping to clear land for bombings".
Wait. What? It was all I could do to keep the huge gulp of water I had just swallowed from spewing out of my nose.
"I'm sorry, did you just say BOMBINGS?" I asked. Uh oh, a nerve was just struck. I could feel my eyes starting to pop out of their sockets and my blood was reaching a startling boiling point.
Blue reiterated his last statement in his usual ultra calm manner.
But, it was too late. The seed had been planted and my wrath was unleashed. I don't remember exactly what came pouring out of my mouth, but I do know it included many unkind words about the military. There were words about trees too...kind words. And the environment. And then more bad words about the military. And bombs that kill trees and houses and people...
Through all this Blue remained perfectly silent (which I think irritated me even more) although his eyebrows were now almost past his forehead. We never really recovered from that dinner interaction and that ended up being the last time Blue and I would ever see each other.
I pretty much never have explosive conversations with anyone as I rarely get worked up over anything that doesn't involve me forgetting to pay a bill. Did I over react to Blue's statement or was I just reacting to something I felt more strongly about than I had once thought? Please weigh in on your thoughts. Is it ok to have 'deal breaker's in potential relationships?
Score: 4 points
Blue suggested something somewhat out of the ordinary for our first date. A jazz show held at a church in Northeast DC (the church rented out the building on the weekends, so there wasn't any kind of actual church service held). I'm not the biggest jazz fan and tend not to venture into N.E. that often, but I needed to get out of my comfort zone so this was good. After a couple of phones calls asking which Metro stop I should take (despite having lived in DC for over 6 years I can barely navigate my way out of my immediate neighborhood..which probably doesn't bode well for me) I was on my way to meet Blue. He met me at the metro station and we recognized each other right away. Blue gave me a warm hug, putting me at ease and I was happy to see that he was indeed 6'0" and just as cute as his profile picture.
The jazz show was more fun than I had anticipated and after it ended we walked over to the Mandarin Hotel for a delicious sushi dinner. Sushi is my absolute favorite food, so the fact that Blue also liked it automatically earned him a point. We learned a great deal about each other over dinner. Blue currently worked in property management for the military and had been in the Navy when he was in his early twenties (he was currently 36). I have never been fan of the armed forces (despite the fact that my dad had served in the Army and now gets a great rate on car insurance through USAA), but he quickly mentioned that before he got his real estate license he worked as an architect in New York. I just started working as an assistant to an architect here in DC, so we bonded over some of our favorite trends in architecture. Plus, I quizzed him about living in New York, one of my all time favorite cities. Conversation flowed the entire evening even though I was slightly disappointed when after I ordered a glass of red wine, he mentioned he didn't drink. After dinner, he drove me home and gave me a quick (yet passionate) kiss telling me how much fun he had. I agreed and was happy to hear from him the following day.
We continued to date for about a month, but things seem to go steadily downhill. While he had a very dry sense of humor (which I like), he wasn't a great conversationalist and often appeared to be slightly narcoleptic. When we were together I found myself wanting to pinch him or grab his arm to see if I could find a pulse.
A couple of weeks later Blue met a friend and I out at a bar we frequented on the weekends. This was slightly awkward since he didn't drink. However, I couldn't tell if it was me, and not him, who felt awkward. My friend and I were trying to involve him in conversation, but the whole evening felt a little sort of forced. Blue seemed out of his element and kept kissing my hands which was a nice gesture, but made me extremely self conscious.
I was beginning to think we really didn't have much in common, but there was something I genuinely liked about Blue that I just couldn't put my finger on. Granted there was definite physical attraction, but what else? The more we hung out, the less it seemed we had to talk about and awkward silences seemed to grow exponentially. Still, I kept trying to make something work. Was it the fact that he made me laugh? Or a feeling of security that he gave me? Or was it simply that I was getting tired of online dating and was grasping at straws to form a relationship?
Well, I didn't need to spend much more time contemplating a possible relationship with Blue. As the snow began to fall on DC, our not-yet-a-relationship hit an icy patch. We were sitting at a Thai restaurant near my apartment on what was to become our last date. I was already in a bad mood because Blue was late to make plans for the evening and I was starving. As my blood sugar dropped, he started telling me about his upcoming work trip to South Carolina.
When I asked him what he would be doing in South Carolina, Blue responded, "Well, I'll be helping to clear land for bombings".
Wait. What? It was all I could do to keep the huge gulp of water I had just swallowed from spewing out of my nose.
"I'm sorry, did you just say BOMBINGS?" I asked. Uh oh, a nerve was just struck. I could feel my eyes starting to pop out of their sockets and my blood was reaching a startling boiling point.
Blue reiterated his last statement in his usual ultra calm manner.
But, it was too late. The seed had been planted and my wrath was unleashed. I don't remember exactly what came pouring out of my mouth, but I do know it included many unkind words about the military. There were words about trees too...kind words. And the environment. And then more bad words about the military. And bombs that kill trees and houses and people...
Through all this Blue remained perfectly silent (which I think irritated me even more) although his eyebrows were now almost past his forehead. We never really recovered from that dinner interaction and that ended up being the last time Blue and I would ever see each other.
I pretty much never have explosive conversations with anyone as I rarely get worked up over anything that doesn't involve me forgetting to pay a bill. Did I over react to Blue's statement or was I just reacting to something I felt more strongly about than I had once thought? Please weigh in on your thoughts. Is it ok to have 'deal breaker's in potential relationships?
Score: 4 points
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Debater Guy
So, I'm back at my favorite Mexican restaurant in Cleveland Park for yet another first internet date with guy I'll refer to as Phil. I had a bad experience with Invisalign Guy at this very same restaurant the previous week, but I decided to give the place another try. And I was in the mood for a margarita.
Phil and I ran into each other on the sidewalk in front of the entrance and quickly shook hands and went inside to grab a table. Phil was pretty much a spitting image of his picture, which gave me some reassurance that photographs on these sites can actually be accurate (I have A LOT to say on the topic of online photographs, but I'll save that for another post). We sat across from each other and as we peeled off our many layers of outerwear I remarked at how chilly it was outside.
"Really? I think it's pretty warm, " Phil retorted. Warm? It was probably in the mid thirties and we were both wearing winter coats, scarves and gloves. WTF?
Before I could respond to PHil's statement a very familiar looking server brought us two large glasses of water (crap, was this the same overly attentive person who waited on Invisalign Guy and me?). I noticed Phil was wearing what appeared to be a white mock turtleneck under his sweater. I know what you're thinking...do clothing designers even MAKE mock turtlenecks anymore? I thought they went out of existence around the same time as tight rolled, acid washed jeans and pastel colored tube socks. Regardless I was not digging this look for Phil.
We both began sifting through the menu and Phil asked me if I liked margaritas. I eagerly responded that I did and he said they made good ones there and then began quizzing me on my preference of rocks or blended, salt or no salt. I told him as long as there was Tequila in the mix, I didn't really care. He did not seem amused by my answer and when the server came to take our order he asked for a glass of wine.
Hmm..things were not off to a great start.
We began to talk about our jobs...well, his job and my lack of one (I was unemployed at the time).
Then somehow Phil got to talking about the federal government's website. "You know it's accessible to the public," he informed me.
"You don't say," I responded staring at his mock turtleneck wondering where he could have even purchased this garment.
He goes on to tell me that the government spends most of it's money on social programs. At this I almost choked on my margarita and entered into an uncontrollable coughing fit. I challenged his statement and when he assured me that it was true and told me I could look on the website myself if I didn't believe him. At this point he grabbed his Blackberry from his coat pocket and set it on the table. Afraid he was actually going to go to the website in question, I quickly stated that I was glad taxpayers' money was used to fund social programs.
"They SHOULD spend it on social programs, " I said emphatically and slightly pounded my fist on the table for dramatic effect. He just looked at me. Phil was a real master at the blank stare.
This is going to be the longest first date ever, I thought looking around for our server. I was already done with my margarita while Phil had barely touched his glass of wine. Luckily I caught the server's eye and made a quick gesture to my drink and before I knew it another lovely beverage was placed in front of me.
As I took a gulp of my fresh margarita, I noticed Phil's Blackberry was almost exactly the same as mine. Desperately wanting to change the topic of conversation away from the federal government, I began rambling on about my Blackberry and the AT&T plan I have. Phil also has AT&T. What do you know? We actually had something in common.
Feeling good that he hadn't tried to contradict me in the past 15 minutes I almost started to enjoy myself. ALMOST that is. I happened to mention the fact that I thought my plan was a little on the expensive side, but was told by the guys at the Georgetown At&T store that it was the absolute cheapest plan I could get that also included unlimited texting.
"I'm a big texter," I said.
"Wow, I think you're paying way too much," Phil said. "I know I pay less than that per month".
"But they told me I was on the lowest plan. Trust me I tried everything to get something lower and I KNOW they wouldn't have lied to me...they seemed like really nice guys." But, I started to doubt myself...could I have been paying less for the 24 plus months I've been using AT&T? Did the Georgetown AT&T people try and take advantage of me because I'm not technologically savvy?
Low and behold, Phil starts typing away on his Blackberry to search for his AT&T plan.
"Oh, I guess I do pay what you pay per month", he muttered in a barely audible voice.
And there you have it. I was right. And I was done. With my margarita and with Phil.
Score: -4 points
Phil and I ran into each other on the sidewalk in front of the entrance and quickly shook hands and went inside to grab a table. Phil was pretty much a spitting image of his picture, which gave me some reassurance that photographs on these sites can actually be accurate (I have A LOT to say on the topic of online photographs, but I'll save that for another post). We sat across from each other and as we peeled off our many layers of outerwear I remarked at how chilly it was outside.
"Really? I think it's pretty warm, " Phil retorted. Warm? It was probably in the mid thirties and we were both wearing winter coats, scarves and gloves. WTF?
Before I could respond to PHil's statement a very familiar looking server brought us two large glasses of water (crap, was this the same overly attentive person who waited on Invisalign Guy and me?). I noticed Phil was wearing what appeared to be a white mock turtleneck under his sweater. I know what you're thinking...do clothing designers even MAKE mock turtlenecks anymore? I thought they went out of existence around the same time as tight rolled, acid washed jeans and pastel colored tube socks. Regardless I was not digging this look for Phil.
We both began sifting through the menu and Phil asked me if I liked margaritas. I eagerly responded that I did and he said they made good ones there and then began quizzing me on my preference of rocks or blended, salt or no salt. I told him as long as there was Tequila in the mix, I didn't really care. He did not seem amused by my answer and when the server came to take our order he asked for a glass of wine.
Hmm..things were not off to a great start.
We began to talk about our jobs...well, his job and my lack of one (I was unemployed at the time).
Then somehow Phil got to talking about the federal government's website. "You know it's accessible to the public," he informed me.
"You don't say," I responded staring at his mock turtleneck wondering where he could have even purchased this garment.
He goes on to tell me that the government spends most of it's money on social programs. At this I almost choked on my margarita and entered into an uncontrollable coughing fit. I challenged his statement and when he assured me that it was true and told me I could look on the website myself if I didn't believe him. At this point he grabbed his Blackberry from his coat pocket and set it on the table. Afraid he was actually going to go to the website in question, I quickly stated that I was glad taxpayers' money was used to fund social programs.
"They SHOULD spend it on social programs, " I said emphatically and slightly pounded my fist on the table for dramatic effect. He just looked at me. Phil was a real master at the blank stare.
This is going to be the longest first date ever, I thought looking around for our server. I was already done with my margarita while Phil had barely touched his glass of wine. Luckily I caught the server's eye and made a quick gesture to my drink and before I knew it another lovely beverage was placed in front of me.
As I took a gulp of my fresh margarita, I noticed Phil's Blackberry was almost exactly the same as mine. Desperately wanting to change the topic of conversation away from the federal government, I began rambling on about my Blackberry and the AT&T plan I have. Phil also has AT&T. What do you know? We actually had something in common.
Feeling good that he hadn't tried to contradict me in the past 15 minutes I almost started to enjoy myself. ALMOST that is. I happened to mention the fact that I thought my plan was a little on the expensive side, but was told by the guys at the Georgetown At&T store that it was the absolute cheapest plan I could get that also included unlimited texting.
"I'm a big texter," I said.
"Wow, I think you're paying way too much," Phil said. "I know I pay less than that per month".
"But they told me I was on the lowest plan. Trust me I tried everything to get something lower and I KNOW they wouldn't have lied to me...they seemed like really nice guys." But, I started to doubt myself...could I have been paying less for the 24 plus months I've been using AT&T? Did the Georgetown AT&T people try and take advantage of me because I'm not technologically savvy?
Low and behold, Phil starts typing away on his Blackberry to search for his AT&T plan.
"Oh, I guess I do pay what you pay per month", he muttered in a barely audible voice.
And there you have it. I was right. And I was done. With my margarita and with Phil.
Score: -4 points
Monday, March 8, 2010
UFO Guy
I met a thirtysomething lawyer after work for a drink at a trendy bar on 14th Street. As I was walking there, he sent a text letting me know he was already at the bar. This calmed my nerves a little as now I wouldn't have to worry about standing alone cradling a glass of wine while staring at the door wondering if each guy who entered was 'him'. As soon as I walked in the very crowded wine bar I noticed a extremely attractive guy walking toward me smiling. Oooh...good sign, I thought. He was slightly taller than me and more attractive than his profile picture. Two very good things that tend to not happen very often (in my experience). I'm relatively tall for a woman and often feel as if I live in a city inhabited by short men. Not that there is anything wrong with short men per say, I just like to know a prospective date has the ability to pick me up at any given moment and not vice versa.
After a brief introduction we decided to go to another bar across the street that promised to be less crowded. I immediately noticed that he was very well dressed, another plus. We found seats at the bar of the second place and began talking about our lives. Several glasses of wine later I found myself to be completely enthralled by how brilliant and interesting this guy was. I started to fantasize about future dates and then something he said made me slowly come back to reality.
"And that's when I started doing extensive research on the existence of UFOs. I really want to prove to people they exist and come to Earth much more often than people realize".
Wait. What?
In my inebriated, daydreaming haze I had completely missed the fact that this guy had been rambling on about various UFO findings and his obsession with them for the past twenty-five minutes. I suppose I always thought it was kind of fun to think there were other life forms out there and know there have been evidence of UFO sightings, but I had never spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating it. And I definitely never conducted 'extensive' research on the topic.
I told him I was totally open to the idea that there was indeed life on other planets and believed UFOs could very well have landed here on Earth. He looked at me like it wasn't a question of whether they existed or not, but more about when the next UFO was going to come and where will we be when it arrives.
Now, I usually pride myself on being able to hold my own in most conversations, but this was a tough one. Was I more drunk than I thought or was this guy really being as serious as he seemed at that moment? Regardless (as I previously mentioned) he was very cute, tall AND successful so I didn't want the date to end just yet.
Around this time the bartender asked if we wanted yet another round. Considering I had almost slipped off my barstool a number of times, we collectively decided we had consumed enough wine for one evening. I remember him paying the bill and then what do you know? We continued the date back at my apartment.
All in all the date was pretty fun, but I just couldn't grasp his passion regarding the extraterrestrial. He sent me a nice text later the next day, but I didn't hear from him again for another 3 weeks and by then I was off on my next misadventure. To this day, whenever I come across my old VHS tape of "E.T" (which is often as my apartment is small so everything is pretty much visible) I think of him.
Score: 6 points
After a brief introduction we decided to go to another bar across the street that promised to be less crowded. I immediately noticed that he was very well dressed, another plus. We found seats at the bar of the second place and began talking about our lives. Several glasses of wine later I found myself to be completely enthralled by how brilliant and interesting this guy was. I started to fantasize about future dates and then something he said made me slowly come back to reality.
"And that's when I started doing extensive research on the existence of UFOs. I really want to prove to people they exist and come to Earth much more often than people realize".
Wait. What?
In my inebriated, daydreaming haze I had completely missed the fact that this guy had been rambling on about various UFO findings and his obsession with them for the past twenty-five minutes. I suppose I always thought it was kind of fun to think there were other life forms out there and know there have been evidence of UFO sightings, but I had never spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating it. And I definitely never conducted 'extensive' research on the topic.
I told him I was totally open to the idea that there was indeed life on other planets and believed UFOs could very well have landed here on Earth. He looked at me like it wasn't a question of whether they existed or not, but more about when the next UFO was going to come and where will we be when it arrives.
Now, I usually pride myself on being able to hold my own in most conversations, but this was a tough one. Was I more drunk than I thought or was this guy really being as serious as he seemed at that moment? Regardless (as I previously mentioned) he was very cute, tall AND successful so I didn't want the date to end just yet.
Around this time the bartender asked if we wanted yet another round. Considering I had almost slipped off my barstool a number of times, we collectively decided we had consumed enough wine for one evening. I remember him paying the bill and then what do you know? We continued the date back at my apartment.
All in all the date was pretty fun, but I just couldn't grasp his passion regarding the extraterrestrial. He sent me a nice text later the next day, but I didn't hear from him again for another 3 weeks and by then I was off on my next misadventure. To this day, whenever I come across my old VHS tape of "E.T" (which is often as my apartment is small so everything is pretty much visible) I think of him.
Score: 6 points
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Invisalign Guy
I met this guy for drinks at a Mexican restaurant in Cleveland Park. We happened to arrive simultaneously and made a quick introduction. When he smiled I noticed an unusually bright glimmer of light emanate from his bottom row of teeth. Being a proponent of proper dental hygiene and knowing it is rude to stare, I quickly dismissed any curiosity I had. We sat at a small table near the bar and were quickly greeted by an overly enthusiastic server carrying 2 glasses of water. After we ordered drinks I watched in horror as he took his Invisalign out of his mouth and nonchalantly placed it on top of the napkin next to his water glass (did I mention this guy was 36?).” Nooo!” screamed the voice in my head. My eyes couldn’t resist following his hand movement from mouth to napkin. This was not a good sign. Not. At. All. I would like to say that the date improved from there, but who are we kidding? I waited a respectable amount of time before dashing to the restroom to text my friend (she and I have a ‘bathroom texting’ pact on all 1st online dates). She quickly responded with many exclamation points asking me if I was joking. Unfortunately, I was not.
I honestly couldn’t tell you what we talked about over the next hour and a half. But, I do know I drank 2 glasses of wine very quickly and felt his plastic dental apparatus staring at me from it’s little napkin the entire time. When the server brought the check he quickly threw down a credit card without hesitation (which was very nice of him). As we stood up to leave he asked me if I wanted to “watch me play pool”. Yes, those were the exact words out of his mouth. I politely declined the wonderful offer and uttered something about needing to get home. Since I had taken a cab to the restaurant and he had driven, he offered to give me a ride home. I probably should have said no, but hey I was unemployed at the time and wanted to save 10 bucks. Not surprisingly, the conversation in the car proceeded to get very strange. I learned far too much about his religious upbringing and his days attending a Baptist high school. He made it a point to mention that most of his family is still very religious. Needless to say as his car slowed to a stop in front of my apartment building I already had the car door open and seatbelt unbuckled. I thanked him for the drinks and ride home and headed into the lobby of my building as if I was escaping from a fire. The next morning I received an email from him expressing his interest for a 2nd date. I never responded.
Score: -3 points
I honestly couldn’t tell you what we talked about over the next hour and a half. But, I do know I drank 2 glasses of wine very quickly and felt his plastic dental apparatus staring at me from it’s little napkin the entire time. When the server brought the check he quickly threw down a credit card without hesitation (which was very nice of him). As we stood up to leave he asked me if I wanted to “watch me play pool”. Yes, those were the exact words out of his mouth. I politely declined the wonderful offer and uttered something about needing to get home. Since I had taken a cab to the restaurant and he had driven, he offered to give me a ride home. I probably should have said no, but hey I was unemployed at the time and wanted to save 10 bucks. Not surprisingly, the conversation in the car proceeded to get very strange. I learned far too much about his religious upbringing and his days attending a Baptist high school. He made it a point to mention that most of his family is still very religious. Needless to say as his car slowed to a stop in front of my apartment building I already had the car door open and seatbelt unbuckled. I thanked him for the drinks and ride home and headed into the lobby of my building as if I was escaping from a fire. The next morning I received an email from him expressing his interest for a 2nd date. I never responded.
Score: -3 points
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