Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Neighborhood Liquor Store Guy
Just when you think your day can't get any worse; your checking account is over-withdrawn by $200, the unpaid bills are piling up and you keep getting calls from a mysterious 1-800 #, the cute guy who works at your neighborhood liquor store asks you out! Nothing like a few compliments and a little flirtation to improve an otherwise shitty day.
However, after you give said guy your phone #, you realize by the end of the day he has texted you a gazillion times and wants you to meet his roommate. He proceeds to tell you that 'you're not like other girls' and feels like he 'could talk to you for hours'. This leaves you asking yourself a familiar question, WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL MEN?
You then receive a call from Canadian Guy who you haven't seen in over six months and think...could there be a Canadian Guy Part Deux?
However, after you give said guy your phone #, you realize by the end of the day he has texted you a gazillion times and wants you to meet his roommate. He proceeds to tell you that 'you're not like other girls' and feels like he 'could talk to you for hours'. This leaves you asking yourself a familiar question, WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL MEN?
You then receive a call from Canadian Guy who you haven't seen in over six months and think...could there be a Canadian Guy Part Deux?
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tales from the City Bus
I've recently decided to take a little hiatus from online dating. Mostly because I just don't want to go on any more bad dates! However, this hiatus is coming to an end tomorrow as I have my first online date in over a month. Wuhu! And yes, I will be venturing into the suburbs for said date. Hopefully, I will return safely and un-jaded.
During my brief hiatus from the online dating world I have decided to stop driving. My car, Daisy, has been ill for quite sometime and I just don't have the funds to obtain the necessary treatment for her. So, I have been forced to embrace public transportation. Everyday I discover new and unusual details about the city bus. First of all, there is a schedule printed at almost all of the stops, but the bus drivers seem to have complete and utter disregard for this schedule. I have been known to wait over 30 minutes for a bus while I watch 3 pass going in the opposite direction. Why does this happen? Other days, I barely have enough time to get my $1.45 (I learned the fair was recently raised from $1.35) ready before one appears in front of me. One day I was sitting on the bench inside the little plastic alcove, when the bus blew right by me! Now I stand as close to the sign as possible so I won't be overlooked by near sighted drivers.
The strangest experience I have had thus far on the bus was when a woman fell out of her wheelchair! I was on my way to Dupont Circle one morning and this particular bus driver took a mean turn onto Mass. Ave. I was sitting behind a woman in a wheelchair listening to my newly used ipod, when all of a sudden the woman and her chair keel over into the aisle. Her head narrowly misses the metal area under the seat and instead hits an elderly lady's leg. It was one of those occurrences that you sort of see coming, but happen too fast for you to stop! Myself, another woman and a guy in a military uniform immediately jump up and pull the woman from the floor and gently place her back into the wheelchair. By this time the driver had stopped the bus to make sure everyone was okay.
This occurrence made me question whether buses have proper accommodations for handicapped people. I mean, this woman's wheelchair went down like a glass of water being knocked off a table. It seems like her wheelchair should have been fastened to something in the bus to prevent something this from happening. However, if our bus driver hadn't taken the turn like a maniac this whole thing probably would have never happened.
As it turned out, everyone was okay, but I decided to get off at the next stop anyway. That was enough excitement for me. When I pulled the 'stop request rope' the woman sitting next to me said that was a smart idea.
While I walked to the Metro another thought occurred to me. Perhaps the city bus has been an untapped source for meeting men. Hmm...
During my brief hiatus from the online dating world I have decided to stop driving. My car, Daisy, has been ill for quite sometime and I just don't have the funds to obtain the necessary treatment for her. So, I have been forced to embrace public transportation. Everyday I discover new and unusual details about the city bus. First of all, there is a schedule printed at almost all of the stops, but the bus drivers seem to have complete and utter disregard for this schedule. I have been known to wait over 30 minutes for a bus while I watch 3 pass going in the opposite direction. Why does this happen? Other days, I barely have enough time to get my $1.45 (I learned the fair was recently raised from $1.35) ready before one appears in front of me. One day I was sitting on the bench inside the little plastic alcove, when the bus blew right by me! Now I stand as close to the sign as possible so I won't be overlooked by near sighted drivers.
The strangest experience I have had thus far on the bus was when a woman fell out of her wheelchair! I was on my way to Dupont Circle one morning and this particular bus driver took a mean turn onto Mass. Ave. I was sitting behind a woman in a wheelchair listening to my newly used ipod, when all of a sudden the woman and her chair keel over into the aisle. Her head narrowly misses the metal area under the seat and instead hits an elderly lady's leg. It was one of those occurrences that you sort of see coming, but happen too fast for you to stop! Myself, another woman and a guy in a military uniform immediately jump up and pull the woman from the floor and gently place her back into the wheelchair. By this time the driver had stopped the bus to make sure everyone was okay.
This occurrence made me question whether buses have proper accommodations for handicapped people. I mean, this woman's wheelchair went down like a glass of water being knocked off a table. It seems like her wheelchair should have been fastened to something in the bus to prevent something this from happening. However, if our bus driver hadn't taken the turn like a maniac this whole thing probably would have never happened.
As it turned out, everyone was okay, but I decided to get off at the next stop anyway. That was enough excitement for me. When I pulled the 'stop request rope' the woman sitting next to me said that was a smart idea.
While I walked to the Metro another thought occurred to me. Perhaps the city bus has been an untapped source for meeting men. Hmm...
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Boy Band Guy
Last fall I went out on a couple of dates with this guy who happened to be a guitar player in a band. The band was made up of 4 guys total and 0 girls. Since this is literally a band of boys I will refer to him as N'Sync. I remember N'Sync's profile picture was a close-up of him playing guitar on stage. Musicians are sort of like bartenders...take an average looking guy and place him behind a bar, add a few tatoos here and there and presto...this average guy just got 10 times hotter! This was precisely the way I felt toward N'Sync. I can't remember if he emailed me first or vice versa. Regardless, our first date was at a bar near Metro Center where we met for 'happy hour' drinks. Of course 'happy hour' stretched out for many, many hours.
N'Sync and I seemed to hit it off immediately! He was cuter than his profile picture and had slightly curly/shaggy hair that I love on men. He had a very slight build and once again was a little shorter than me (I briefly wondered if I was thin enough to actually fit into his pants). Luckily, I wear flats on all first dates as I am used to this type of occurrence. I learned N'Sync was from a predominantly Catholic family (as was I) and had a major sweet tooth (as do I). He had a sister and brother and seemed to be close to them, which I admire. I always think it's a good sign when a guy is close to his family (especially his mother). Having grown up as an only child, I find adult sibling relationships to be extremely fascinating.
During the course of the evening, N'Sync and I seemed to laugh as much as we talked. This is going smashingly, I thought! The first time I looked at my watch it was past 9:00 and we met at 6. Wow..rarely does time pass that quickly on a first semi blind date.
I also learned N'Sync worked at the Department of Treasury during the day (when he wasn't being a rock star...which he said in jest as he seemed to be a down-to-earth type of guy). His office window is actually pictured on the $10 bill...or maybe it's the $20. Anyway, his office window is literally on money and that's pretty damn cool. He did probability and statistical analysis for the government. Hmm...probability and statistics...2 math courses I opted not to take in college. The most interesting thing about his job was the fact former gymnast Kerri Strugg (sp?) worked in his building!! You remember her...during the whatever-year summer Olympics she did a perfect vault only to break her ankle upon landing. That image of her crying in pain, yet smiling at the fact she just scored a perfect 10 has been immortalized in pictures ever since. Anyway, N'Sync said he saw her every single morning on the Metro and said 'hi' every single morning, yet she never so much as smiled at him.
"What a bitch" I said after what was probably my 5th or 6th glass of wine.
He did mention that while he and his co-workers had yet to gather proof on whether she actually spoke in public they did witness her running down the hall one day.
"I was talking to a co-worker and all of a sudden we heard this rapid, clanking sound. We looked up and low and behold Kerri Strugg was bookin it down the hallway in high heels and a business suit. We braced ourselves for some kind of flip or airborne somersault, but it was not to be."
"That would have been so cool if she just broke into a forward flips in rapid succession," I said. "I bet she ran fast as Hell."
"I'm pretty sure we felt a strong breeze as she passed," N'Sync responded.
After he paid the bill, N'Sync offered to drive me home. As we waited for the parking garage attendant to get his car, we made out in the street. I always feel a little awkward with PDA on a first date, but the large amount of alcohol I had just imbibed made that transition a little more smooth.
After he dropped me off (after getting slightly lost on the way to my apartment...did I mention I'm directionally challenged?), N'Sync sent me a text expressing how much fun he had on our date and that he would like to go out again. I agreed and we planned date #2 for the following Sunday evening.
Sunday evening we met at an Irish bar in Dupont Circle. I could tell immediately the chemistry from date #1 had been taken down a few notches. This date was much more mellow with less laughing and more pauses in conversation.
Uh oh. This was an all too familiar feeling. We had jumped the shark already.
As N'Sync drove me home he played some of his band's music and I generally liked what I heard. It is hard to describe the style..sort of a mix between alternative rock and country. When he pulled up to my apartment we chatted about possibly going out the upcoming Friday night. We didn't make definite plans right then, but it was understood that he would be in touch later in the week to firm things up.
Once back at my apartment, N'Sync sent me a text apologizing for seeming 'tired', but had a good time on the date. Hmmm...
When I hadn't heard from N'Sync by Wednesday of that week, I knew there would be no 3rd date. While it's completely rude to blow someone off, I kind of understood. Online dating is sort of an alternate universe. Since before the first date you and the other person are likely to be complete strangers. I wasn't too broken up about it as I figured things probably wouldn't have escalated any farther. It still is a little shitty to just not follow up at all when you had tentative plans with someone. Although I can't say much as I've done the same thing more than once. When you are friends with someone and then begin dating, it would be looked down upon to just blow someone off completely, but if it's an internet date and you've only gone out twice it can be more understanding. Or can it?
Score 3 points
N'Sync and I seemed to hit it off immediately! He was cuter than his profile picture and had slightly curly/shaggy hair that I love on men. He had a very slight build and once again was a little shorter than me (I briefly wondered if I was thin enough to actually fit into his pants). Luckily, I wear flats on all first dates as I am used to this type of occurrence. I learned N'Sync was from a predominantly Catholic family (as was I) and had a major sweet tooth (as do I). He had a sister and brother and seemed to be close to them, which I admire. I always think it's a good sign when a guy is close to his family (especially his mother). Having grown up as an only child, I find adult sibling relationships to be extremely fascinating.
During the course of the evening, N'Sync and I seemed to laugh as much as we talked. This is going smashingly, I thought! The first time I looked at my watch it was past 9:00 and we met at 6. Wow..rarely does time pass that quickly on a first semi blind date.
I also learned N'Sync worked at the Department of Treasury during the day (when he wasn't being a rock star...which he said in jest as he seemed to be a down-to-earth type of guy). His office window is actually pictured on the $10 bill...or maybe it's the $20. Anyway, his office window is literally on money and that's pretty damn cool. He did probability and statistical analysis for the government. Hmm...probability and statistics...2 math courses I opted not to take in college. The most interesting thing about his job was the fact former gymnast Kerri Strugg (sp?) worked in his building!! You remember her...during the whatever-year summer Olympics she did a perfect vault only to break her ankle upon landing. That image of her crying in pain, yet smiling at the fact she just scored a perfect 10 has been immortalized in pictures ever since. Anyway, N'Sync said he saw her every single morning on the Metro and said 'hi' every single morning, yet she never so much as smiled at him.
"What a bitch" I said after what was probably my 5th or 6th glass of wine.
He did mention that while he and his co-workers had yet to gather proof on whether she actually spoke in public they did witness her running down the hall one day.
"I was talking to a co-worker and all of a sudden we heard this rapid, clanking sound. We looked up and low and behold Kerri Strugg was bookin it down the hallway in high heels and a business suit. We braced ourselves for some kind of flip or airborne somersault, but it was not to be."
"That would have been so cool if she just broke into a forward flips in rapid succession," I said. "I bet she ran fast as Hell."
"I'm pretty sure we felt a strong breeze as she passed," N'Sync responded.
After he paid the bill, N'Sync offered to drive me home. As we waited for the parking garage attendant to get his car, we made out in the street. I always feel a little awkward with PDA on a first date, but the large amount of alcohol I had just imbibed made that transition a little more smooth.
After he dropped me off (after getting slightly lost on the way to my apartment...did I mention I'm directionally challenged?), N'Sync sent me a text expressing how much fun he had on our date and that he would like to go out again. I agreed and we planned date #2 for the following Sunday evening.
Sunday evening we met at an Irish bar in Dupont Circle. I could tell immediately the chemistry from date #1 had been taken down a few notches. This date was much more mellow with less laughing and more pauses in conversation.
Uh oh. This was an all too familiar feeling. We had jumped the shark already.
As N'Sync drove me home he played some of his band's music and I generally liked what I heard. It is hard to describe the style..sort of a mix between alternative rock and country. When he pulled up to my apartment we chatted about possibly going out the upcoming Friday night. We didn't make definite plans right then, but it was understood that he would be in touch later in the week to firm things up.
Once back at my apartment, N'Sync sent me a text apologizing for seeming 'tired', but had a good time on the date. Hmmm...
When I hadn't heard from N'Sync by Wednesday of that week, I knew there would be no 3rd date. While it's completely rude to blow someone off, I kind of understood. Online dating is sort of an alternate universe. Since before the first date you and the other person are likely to be complete strangers. I wasn't too broken up about it as I figured things probably wouldn't have escalated any farther. It still is a little shitty to just not follow up at all when you had tentative plans with someone. Although I can't say much as I've done the same thing more than once. When you are friends with someone and then begin dating, it would be looked down upon to just blow someone off completely, but if it's an internet date and you've only gone out twice it can be more understanding. Or can it?
Score 3 points
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Space Invader Guy
Earlier this year I had the misfortune to go out with a space-challenged guy (Sid) who seemed to view himself as if he lived in an alternate universe. Sid and I shared a few emails back and forth before deciding to meet for drinks one chilly Sunday evening. Unfortunately, Sid lived in Virginia (I have an inherent dislike of the suburbs). Fortunately he owned a car and seemed more than willing to pick me up and go to a place in the city. Sid was born in India and his one profile picture had him looking very youthful with a thick head of hair. It also specified that he was 6'0". If this were true than someone forgot to tell me that I won the lottery.
As soon as Sid got out of his car I realized a vast error had been made. Sid looked NOTHING like his profile picture. And when I write 'nothing', I mean I started wondering if I had mixed Sid up with some other Indian guy who I might have been communicating with. But, there wasn't another Indian guy, it was only Sid. And Sid appeared to be about 10 years older than his profile picture with about a quarter of the amount of hair. Don't even get me started on the height difference. Not only was Sid shorter than his published 6'0", he was a good 2" shorter than me (and I'm 5"9'....I promise). In other words, Sid was an imposter!
Greeaat. This was going to be a fun night. I got into Sid's car and tried to hide my shock. He drove up the street to a wine bar that I liked. When we parked I realized that the wine bar no longer existed and now it was some kind of tavern. What is happening in the universe?!
Sid and I engaged in mild banter during the brief car ride. As soon as we parked he gave me a small box of chocolate covered cherries from Godiva that he had picked up at the mall while shopping for his niece's birthday gift. I graciously thanked him and filed the box away in the bottom of my purse. Why didn't the cute guys ever bring presents? Maybe because they know they don't have to.
We found two spots at the bar and I immediately recognized the bartender from the wine bar that apparently no longer existed. He recognized me as well. We started chatting and told me they had changed venues during the summer and was surprised I hadn't been in since then. Bartender guy was cute and I remembered having had a bit of a crush on him. Knowing it is completely rude to flirt with a guy while on a date with another guy, I proceeded to flirt away! Time to bring out the big guns. Sid seemed slightly annoyed by this.
After we ordered 2 glasses of wine I noticed Sid's chair was awfully close to mine. And then...wait, why was his arm casually resting on the back of my chair? Uh oh. More social cues were definitely needed. I inched as far away from Sid's chair as I possibly could without risking falling out of my own chair.
Luckily, the Olympics were on the bar television and I pretended to be a huge hockey fan. Keep the conversation to sports, I thought. This was a little tricky as I know nothing about sports. But, I do know hockey is huge in Canada so I lead the conversation with that. I happily noticed Sid soon moved his arm and my chair was my own again.
Sid soon changed the topic from sports to more personal things. Crap. He turned his entire body to face me when he talked while I kept my hands in my lap and tried to stare straight ahead as much as possible. Sid talked about how all his friends are married and how he is looking to settle down and start the next 'chapter' of his life.
"Not me. Nooo. I have so much going on right now. Did I mention that I currently have 3 part-time jobs? Yeah, not much free time for me. No siree."
We managed to make it through another round of drinks, but as soon as Sid mentioned ordering food, I said I had already eaten and should probably go soon.
"I have an early day tomorrow. At. One. Of the jobs," I said.
The entire evening I spent marveling at the fact Sid could advertise himself so falsely. I don't mean to come across harshly, but when you post a profile picture that looks like a completely different person and adjust your height by 4" it is not okay! It only takes 1 date to call someone's bluff. Don't assume a perspective date is going to be an idiot.
When Sid dropped me off in front of my apartment he leaned over and tried to kiss me. But I was too fast for him! As I flung the car door open he literally looked pissed that I wouldn't kiss him. Not hurt, just angry. Don't think just because you paid for my drinks my lips are going anywhere near yours. If only a 'liar, liar, pants on fire' statement actually worked in adult situations.
Now I can understand why Nancy killed Sid in the hotel bathroom. Or was it the other way around? Hmm...must add the movie to my Netflix Q.
Score: -6 points
As soon as Sid got out of his car I realized a vast error had been made. Sid looked NOTHING like his profile picture. And when I write 'nothing', I mean I started wondering if I had mixed Sid up with some other Indian guy who I might have been communicating with. But, there wasn't another Indian guy, it was only Sid. And Sid appeared to be about 10 years older than his profile picture with about a quarter of the amount of hair. Don't even get me started on the height difference. Not only was Sid shorter than his published 6'0", he was a good 2" shorter than me (and I'm 5"9'....I promise). In other words, Sid was an imposter!
Greeaat. This was going to be a fun night. I got into Sid's car and tried to hide my shock. He drove up the street to a wine bar that I liked. When we parked I realized that the wine bar no longer existed and now it was some kind of tavern. What is happening in the universe?!
Sid and I engaged in mild banter during the brief car ride. As soon as we parked he gave me a small box of chocolate covered cherries from Godiva that he had picked up at the mall while shopping for his niece's birthday gift. I graciously thanked him and filed the box away in the bottom of my purse. Why didn't the cute guys ever bring presents? Maybe because they know they don't have to.
We found two spots at the bar and I immediately recognized the bartender from the wine bar that apparently no longer existed. He recognized me as well. We started chatting and told me they had changed venues during the summer and was surprised I hadn't been in since then. Bartender guy was cute and I remembered having had a bit of a crush on him. Knowing it is completely rude to flirt with a guy while on a date with another guy, I proceeded to flirt away! Time to bring out the big guns. Sid seemed slightly annoyed by this.
After we ordered 2 glasses of wine I noticed Sid's chair was awfully close to mine. And then...wait, why was his arm casually resting on the back of my chair? Uh oh. More social cues were definitely needed. I inched as far away from Sid's chair as I possibly could without risking falling out of my own chair.
Luckily, the Olympics were on the bar television and I pretended to be a huge hockey fan. Keep the conversation to sports, I thought. This was a little tricky as I know nothing about sports. But, I do know hockey is huge in Canada so I lead the conversation with that. I happily noticed Sid soon moved his arm and my chair was my own again.
Sid soon changed the topic from sports to more personal things. Crap. He turned his entire body to face me when he talked while I kept my hands in my lap and tried to stare straight ahead as much as possible. Sid talked about how all his friends are married and how he is looking to settle down and start the next 'chapter' of his life.
"Not me. Nooo. I have so much going on right now. Did I mention that I currently have 3 part-time jobs? Yeah, not much free time for me. No siree."
We managed to make it through another round of drinks, but as soon as Sid mentioned ordering food, I said I had already eaten and should probably go soon.
"I have an early day tomorrow. At. One. Of the jobs," I said.
The entire evening I spent marveling at the fact Sid could advertise himself so falsely. I don't mean to come across harshly, but when you post a profile picture that looks like a completely different person and adjust your height by 4" it is not okay! It only takes 1 date to call someone's bluff. Don't assume a perspective date is going to be an idiot.
When Sid dropped me off in front of my apartment he leaned over and tried to kiss me. But I was too fast for him! As I flung the car door open he literally looked pissed that I wouldn't kiss him. Not hurt, just angry. Don't think just because you paid for my drinks my lips are going anywhere near yours. If only a 'liar, liar, pants on fire' statement actually worked in adult situations.
Now I can understand why Nancy killed Sid in the hotel bathroom. Or was it the other way around? Hmm...must add the movie to my Netflix Q.
Score: -6 points
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Guy Who Jumped the Shark
A few months ago I went out on 3 dates with a guy I'll call Prick (just for kicks). Prick had a very important job working at a very important computer software company. He was in the midst of developing a giant computer program that would change the way people use computer software (or this is the way I translated his technical lingo).
Prick and I met for the first time at a beer joint in Dupont Circle one weeknight after work. I was overjoyed to see that Prick was indeed taller than me and pretty cute as well. Score! He gave me a quick hug and seemed warm and friendly.
We sat at a table near a window and immediately ordered 2 beers (I went with my trusty favorite, Amstel Light...typical girlie beer). After we finished with the 'what do you do' segment of the conversation we somehow stumbled into a long talk about religion and philosophy. I'm not sure how that happened, but Prick started quoting famous religious texts left and right. I was a little thrown by this as I've always considered myself to be more spiritual than religious. Prick assured me he wasn't religious, but found the topic to be somewhat fascinating. I mumbled some tidbits about having grown up Catholic and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere.
After a quick discussion about Prick's fondness of cycling and deep admiration of Lance Armstrong, we split the tab and left. Our first date felt like a whirlwind of strange conversation and I didn't really know what to think of Prick. When we got outside, he gave me a hug and said he would call me. I didn't hold out much hope for that to happen though.
A week went by and suddenly I get a call from Prick asking me out to dinner. I agreed, hoping we would get to know each other a little more on the 2nd date. I was right. Prick seemed almost like a different person. He was much more animated and was cracking jokes left and right. Our 2nd date consisted of dinner and a jazz show. Even though I'm not a big fan of jazz, I honestly had a great time.
When Prick asked me out again, I was fairly excited. This time he came over to my neighborhood and we went to dinner at a sushi restaurant on my block. Prick came straight from work and seemed tired and in a bit of a bad mood. What happened to the fun, animated guy from date #2? Maybe he was tired from a long day of work or just moody. Our conversation over maki rolls didn't go so well. Prick began asking me a barrage of questions regarding my stance on various political issues. I felt like I was being interrogated. To say I'm not a political person is a vast understatement, so I really didn't appreciate Prick's line of questioning. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that my answers were not up to par.
When the check came and Prick said, "Do you wanna split it," I knew things were not going well.
I wasn't sure what to do at this point, but Prick suggested we walk down the street and grab a drink (by drink he meant hot tea). Conversation continued to go down hill. We started talking about movies (a topic I love) and Prick mentioned he enjoys documentaries about wars. Wait, what? Documentaries about wars. I realize wars play a valuable role in our nation's history, but come on! I would rather watch paint dry. As soon as he said this my face fell and I knew it was over.
"I enjoy documentaries as well," I responded. "As long as they are about famous artists, writers or actors. Or people related to famous artist, writers or actors."
Prick walked me home and gave me a quick hug and kiss. No chemistry. He said he would be in touch, but again, I wasn't going to hold my breath.
Low and behold the next morning I receive an email from Prick. He wrote that 'while I had a lot of fun spending time with you, I'm not looking for a relationship'. He went on to write how much he hated sending these types of emails, but he didn't want to string me along. So, he was breaking up with me after 3 dates? Um...
I responded with a little email of my own. "Thanks for being honest. I feel exactly the same way". Short, sweet and to the point.
Score: 2 points
Prick and I met for the first time at a beer joint in Dupont Circle one weeknight after work. I was overjoyed to see that Prick was indeed taller than me and pretty cute as well. Score! He gave me a quick hug and seemed warm and friendly.
We sat at a table near a window and immediately ordered 2 beers (I went with my trusty favorite, Amstel Light...typical girlie beer). After we finished with the 'what do you do' segment of the conversation we somehow stumbled into a long talk about religion and philosophy. I'm not sure how that happened, but Prick started quoting famous religious texts left and right. I was a little thrown by this as I've always considered myself to be more spiritual than religious. Prick assured me he wasn't religious, but found the topic to be somewhat fascinating. I mumbled some tidbits about having grown up Catholic and tried to steer the conversation elsewhere.
After a quick discussion about Prick's fondness of cycling and deep admiration of Lance Armstrong, we split the tab and left. Our first date felt like a whirlwind of strange conversation and I didn't really know what to think of Prick. When we got outside, he gave me a hug and said he would call me. I didn't hold out much hope for that to happen though.
A week went by and suddenly I get a call from Prick asking me out to dinner. I agreed, hoping we would get to know each other a little more on the 2nd date. I was right. Prick seemed almost like a different person. He was much more animated and was cracking jokes left and right. Our 2nd date consisted of dinner and a jazz show. Even though I'm not a big fan of jazz, I honestly had a great time.
When Prick asked me out again, I was fairly excited. This time he came over to my neighborhood and we went to dinner at a sushi restaurant on my block. Prick came straight from work and seemed tired and in a bit of a bad mood. What happened to the fun, animated guy from date #2? Maybe he was tired from a long day of work or just moody. Our conversation over maki rolls didn't go so well. Prick began asking me a barrage of questions regarding my stance on various political issues. I felt like I was being interrogated. To say I'm not a political person is a vast understatement, so I really didn't appreciate Prick's line of questioning. I could tell by the way he was looking at me that my answers were not up to par.
When the check came and Prick said, "Do you wanna split it," I knew things were not going well.
I wasn't sure what to do at this point, but Prick suggested we walk down the street and grab a drink (by drink he meant hot tea). Conversation continued to go down hill. We started talking about movies (a topic I love) and Prick mentioned he enjoys documentaries about wars. Wait, what? Documentaries about wars. I realize wars play a valuable role in our nation's history, but come on! I would rather watch paint dry. As soon as he said this my face fell and I knew it was over.
"I enjoy documentaries as well," I responded. "As long as they are about famous artists, writers or actors. Or people related to famous artist, writers or actors."
Prick walked me home and gave me a quick hug and kiss. No chemistry. He said he would be in touch, but again, I wasn't going to hold my breath.
Low and behold the next morning I receive an email from Prick. He wrote that 'while I had a lot of fun spending time with you, I'm not looking for a relationship'. He went on to write how much he hated sending these types of emails, but he didn't want to string me along. So, he was breaking up with me after 3 dates? Um...
I responded with a little email of my own. "Thanks for being honest. I feel exactly the same way". Short, sweet and to the point.
Score: 2 points
Sunday, April 4, 2010
'Sexiest User'...Moi?
Yesterday I was checking my mail on one of the dating sites I use and saw something unexpected. As soon as I logged in to the website my very own profile picture suddenly appeared with something typed below it. Sexiest User. Wait, What?
Naturally this took me by surprise. Many questions popped into my head. Who assigns these superlatives...the Plenty of Fish robot? Does this only come up on MY computer or does everyone automatically see my newly branded profile picture once they log in? How the Hell am I perpetually single if I'm supposedly the 'sexiest user'? Maybe this is a sign I've been on the dating site too long.
Regardless, my new project is to try and figure out how flaunt my supposed sexiness. Game on!
I know that when I think of sexy people my mind automatically goes to a lovely young man by the name of James Franco (ie my celebrity crush #2). So, I'm going to post a picture of James next to today's post. Love you James!
P.S. Happy Easter and Happy Passover!
Naturally this took me by surprise. Many questions popped into my head. Who assigns these superlatives...the Plenty of Fish robot? Does this only come up on MY computer or does everyone automatically see my newly branded profile picture once they log in? How the Hell am I perpetually single if I'm supposedly the 'sexiest user'? Maybe this is a sign I've been on the dating site too long.
Regardless, my new project is to try and figure out how flaunt my supposed sexiness. Game on!
I know that when I think of sexy people my mind automatically goes to a lovely young man by the name of James Franco (ie my celebrity crush #2). So, I'm going to post a picture of James next to today's post. Love you James!
P.S. Happy Easter and Happy Passover!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
The Canadian Guy
Last fall I went out on a few dates with a guy who had recently moved to D.C. from our northern pal, Canada (I'll call him Granola). Granola and I met for lunch one sunny afternoon in October. We discussed art and literature over salads in Dupont Circle and then walked over to the Phillips Collection (one of my all time favorite museums). Granola and I hit it off right away and seemed to have very similar interests. Not only was Granola well read, he enjoyed going to museums and art galleries as much as I did. And he didn't seem to mind the fact that after we left the museum I couldn't remember what street I had parked on.
I noticed Granola seemed to be a fairly private person, which I can respect. I tend to be on the private side as well (which sort of goes against the fact that I write a blog about my dating life). I learned Granola was a teacher and rented a house in northeast. He decided to join a dating site upon moving here to try and meet people. I asked if he had a roommate and he said that he did, but didn't offer any further details about his living situation. Hmm...a little fishy.
We proceeded to go out 2 more times. I was really enjoying Granola's company, but there was something that bothered me about him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We had great conversations, he was very easygoing and cute (even if he was a tad shorter than me..but at this point I have ALMOST come to expect that from internet dates), but by the 3rd date I still felt a little disconnected from him.
On this particular date, Granola and I went to dinner at a Thai restaurant and then for a drink at a bar across the street that had recently opened. Granola told me all about his days of being a cross country traveler and opened up about his family. With each beer, intimate details of his life started pouring out of his mouth. And then came the kicker.
"So, I actually moved here to be with my girlfriend, but as soon as I moved in we broke up."
I KNEW something was up!
"Oh, so SHE'S your roommate." I said, starting to put the missing pieces together.
Granola then started rambling on about how they had been dating on and off for years, but had never lived in the same place and he decided to move to D.C. to see if they could make it work, blah, blah, blah. But now he realized it was over and he wanted to find a new place to live, blah, blah, blah.
At this point he told me how he really liked me and was waiting for the right time to tell me this.
"Uh huh, well, this IS good information to know," I muttered in between sips of wine. Now I was over it. The last thing I needed or wanted was to deal with ex-girlfriend drama.
He sent me a text later that evening about how he would like to see me again, but nothing ever materialized. As soon as he mentioned the details about his ex-girlfriend and their history I lost interest. I mean, who wants to date someone who still has a lingering situation with their ex?
A few weeks later I was working a weekend brunch shift (I hostess part-time at a restaurant downtown) and low and behold who walks in? Granola and the 'ex'. I was so caught off guard I almost dropped the huge stack of menus I was holding. He made a quick introduction (I did happily notice she was a tad mousy looking). We happened to be really busy at the time and didn't have any available tables. They ended up going somewhere else and I was left wondering if he had remembered that I worked at that particular restaurant and stopped by on purpose or if it was just a fluke. Regardless, I was on to the next non-Canadian guy!
Score: 1 point
I noticed Granola seemed to be a fairly private person, which I can respect. I tend to be on the private side as well (which sort of goes against the fact that I write a blog about my dating life). I learned Granola was a teacher and rented a house in northeast. He decided to join a dating site upon moving here to try and meet people. I asked if he had a roommate and he said that he did, but didn't offer any further details about his living situation. Hmm...a little fishy.
We proceeded to go out 2 more times. I was really enjoying Granola's company, but there was something that bothered me about him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We had great conversations, he was very easygoing and cute (even if he was a tad shorter than me..but at this point I have ALMOST come to expect that from internet dates), but by the 3rd date I still felt a little disconnected from him.
On this particular date, Granola and I went to dinner at a Thai restaurant and then for a drink at a bar across the street that had recently opened. Granola told me all about his days of being a cross country traveler and opened up about his family. With each beer, intimate details of his life started pouring out of his mouth. And then came the kicker.
"So, I actually moved here to be with my girlfriend, but as soon as I moved in we broke up."
I KNEW something was up!
"Oh, so SHE'S your roommate." I said, starting to put the missing pieces together.
Granola then started rambling on about how they had been dating on and off for years, but had never lived in the same place and he decided to move to D.C. to see if they could make it work, blah, blah, blah. But now he realized it was over and he wanted to find a new place to live, blah, blah, blah.
At this point he told me how he really liked me and was waiting for the right time to tell me this.
"Uh huh, well, this IS good information to know," I muttered in between sips of wine. Now I was over it. The last thing I needed or wanted was to deal with ex-girlfriend drama.
He sent me a text later that evening about how he would like to see me again, but nothing ever materialized. As soon as he mentioned the details about his ex-girlfriend and their history I lost interest. I mean, who wants to date someone who still has a lingering situation with their ex?
A few weeks later I was working a weekend brunch shift (I hostess part-time at a restaurant downtown) and low and behold who walks in? Granola and the 'ex'. I was so caught off guard I almost dropped the huge stack of menus I was holding. He made a quick introduction (I did happily notice she was a tad mousy looking). We happened to be really busy at the time and didn't have any available tables. They ended up going somewhere else and I was left wondering if he had remembered that I worked at that particular restaurant and stopped by on purpose or if it was just a fluke. Regardless, I was on to the next non-Canadian guy!
Score: 1 point
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